Dragon Warrior With Lyrics - Brentalfloss

In the olden days of yore

This kingdom was barren and cloaked in darkness

Until Erdrick, noble knight

Used balls of light to set the kingdom right

And you, as his descendant, are fated to defend it

Go fight!

Bring back the light!

O, Dragon Warrior

The princess must be rescued soon (preferably this afternoon)

The ball of light must be returned (but at the moment you’re a noob)

You may be brave but you’re a small, weak rube

You’ve got so much XP to earn

(So get your ass out there and grind)

Gotta grind, gotta grind, gotta grind it

Lotta stuff, lotta stuff, gotta find it

Sit down and commit now to legit rounds of outwitting shitclowns

Gotta grind, gotta grind (Break it down now!)

(You gotta grind!)

Lotta stuff, lotta stuff, gotta find it

Keep an open mind when in a bind ‘cause who knows what’s behind it?

In this game everything takes a really long time

Holy balls!

Don’t you know that there’s stairs there?

At this pace, it’s a slow and deliberate climb

Slow my god, like a snail with a walker

This game’s hard, you get mad and controllers are flung

Where the fuck are these magical doodads?

How did kids have the patience to deal with this dung?

Jeezy Cripes, how did anyone play this?

Don’t be discouraged, just read Nintendo Power

Or call the Nintendo Power Line number

Or just get the strategy guide!

Now they’ve got more of your cash

But you have the power to slay a dragon!

For a little extra dough, you’re in the know

You fuckin' run the show

This quest was just a cunning attempt to make more money

They win, you paid again!

That’s Dragon Warrior