Talking Airplane Disaster - Phil Ochs

Well, once I heard some people say, «if you gotta travel

There’s just one way, you gotta leave the ground, gotta go

Through the air, gotta find a pilot and pay your fare

You gotta sail through the sky

In other words, you gotta fly»

Yes, statistics show it’s the way to go

Well, it’s safer than your car, you know;

It’s safer than your home, safter than your street

About the safes place to put your feet;

Statistics don’t lie…

But statistics don’t die, either

Well, once I heard bob dylan say:

You gotta take a train -- it’s the only way;

Well, nothin' ever happens to trains at all --

There was just one accident he could recall:

A plane crashed into it…

People flying in all directions, then

One day when the sky was blue

I boarded a plane and off we flew

Looked out the window, insurance in my hand

Just like columbus searching searching for land;

Swearin' I’d never fly again…

Just like the last time

Then one of the stewardesses ambled by

And suddenly I wasn’t afraid to die;

She brought me coffee, pillows and tea

Said, «you're as safe as you can be»

Said there’s nothing to worry about…

Then she flew out the door somebody forgot to close

Right

The plane kept going higher and higher

I could swear both the wings were on fire

So I opened the cockpit door

And the pilot was layin' on the floor

With the other stewardess…

She said, «fly now and pay later»…

Then the plane dropped down about a mile or two

She lurched about, I swore I was through;

My stomach was heavin' -- it was tied in a knot --

Little paper bag was all I got --

That’s the bag I’m in… pilot said we hit an air

Pocket.

Must’ve been a pocket with an awful big hole in it…

Well, at last the trip was near the end

The airport was comin' round the bend

But all my anxious eyes could see

Was a thousand planes in the vicinity;

They was landin' and leavin' and wavin' at each other

Wing to win and brother to brother

The pilot was swearin' and swervin' around

But he said, «don't worry, we have radar somewhere on the ground»

I wasn’t worried… i was crawlin' up the aisle

Screamin': «jesus saves»

The trip didn’t do me too much harm

But I did spend a year on the happy-farm;

They couldn’t understand why I kissed the ground

Chewed the concrete and swallowed it down;

Sure tasted good… like laguardia dirt should.

/pre