I'm a Sucker - Ashley Gold, Ecid

I’m throwing snowballs at cop cars

While doing the Marty Mcfly on your back bumper

I wish I could go back to juvie and make an adult movie With my PO

She was so nice what a bummer

There’s no glory in post euphoria

Only the most glorified morning wood poking your cornea

Poor me, my charming life affords a cornucopia

Of vainglorious fornicating now raise a 40 up

Over dramatic like a lethal weapon saxophone

Everybody knows your name you’re so Sam Malone

I dry heave charm with the screams of a car alarm

While getting my pubes permed in a burning barnyard

Ain’t it cute?

We should be friends til the end

And co-star in a commercial for the mentally scared

I started a hopeless romantics anonymous

So I could find a new chick to double my blocks populous

Accommodating with a can of pop and a kiss

Expectations are low so every results an accomplishment

I’ve been a mess since middle school

Every since I saw my first nipple swimmin in the kiddie pool

I’m a sucker for a pretty face and a paycheck

Spending it all and I haven’t been paid yet

Making the big bucks!

I’m a part time pittie party and a full time mess (x2)

I started wearing skinnier and skinnier jeans

Trying to be a spiffier me with a little hippy in between

Smoking pot was the only thing we had in common

So I tried chiefing like a miniature fiend

Now I can’t trust a chick that can’t roll a joint with one hand

Let alone one that plays drums in a dumb band

I went tanning!

I went fucking tanning!

I can pitch a mean tent but I can do that without camping

I’ve been domesticated even though I hate it

Seen all the piece of shit twilight movies so underrated

I found religion in denial

And comfort in having your parents on speed dial

Metaphorically speaking I accepted testical dismemberment

And paid for his and hers gym memberships

All because I was under the influence

Of the greatest girls I’d ever met until they ended it

(Hook)

Im a sucker for a pretty face and a paycheck

Spending it all and I haven’t been paid yet

Making the big bucks!

I’m a part time pittie party and a full time mess (x2)

I got a BIg heart

I got a BIG bark

I got BIG huh hm uhh hmm

Depending on the size of her hands (x2)