Me & You - Dirty Dike, Jam Baxter

You’re talking out your arse, I’m talking out my mouth

You’re squarking out your bars while I’m walking out the house

And I don’t make the rules, I just play the game

And I won’t bring my balls for no shameless bit of fame

You’re sniffing up your ket, I’m sniffing up my coke

But I ain’t gonna magnify the difference in a bloke

You’re living off the dole, I’m living off my soul

And I don’t wanna bitch about the system when I’m old

I’m gonna buy some land, you’re gonna buy some drugs

You’re gonna find a slag while I’m gonna find some love

You’re smoking on a dick, I’m smoking on a spliff

You’re showing off your kids and I’m a chauvinistic pig

You’re ringing up your mum, I’m drinking with your dad

He’s pissing in the street while he’s fingering a slag

You’re living in a dream, I dribble in my sleep

You’re looking in the mirror while I’m spitting to this beat

You’re going to the fair, I’m going to the shops

You ain’t gonna hear my fucking album 'til it drops

You’re pissing in a bog, I’m pissing in a bush

You listen to the trickle, it’s a mission to the woods

You’re combing your hair, but nobody cares

I’m a scruffy fucker but my omen is rare

You’re over-prepared, I’m casually lax

I’m sat in the back of a taxi relaxed

And I don’t wanna prang, I just wanna chill

When you just wanna hang around with slappers eating pills

I just wanna fuck, you just wanna wank

Ladies and gents give a very big thanks and a round of applause

Man, you’re a nause

I don’t wanna hang around with mans any more

You’re trying to be my friend, I’m trying to be a dick

You’re trying to make it stick while I’m trying to get rid

(Verse 2 — Jam Baxter)

I’m straddling a pig, you’re a maggot in a wig

You’ve gone and bought your whole smackwagon to the gig, why’s it matter who

I’m with?

You’re chatting to a twig

You try and spit a verse and end up fracturing your ribs

And I don’t wanna judge, you’re on a lot of drugs

And yeah I know there’s one thousand ways to hold a grudge

But me I’m trying to speak, you’re just trying to preach

My ears about to stab itself and drink a pint of bleach

You’re talking to a child, I’m talking to a dwarf

With 5 drops of acid in a nice warm sauce

But you’re doing what you can, I’m doing what you can’t

You’re stuck being who you are, my whole crew’s who you aren’t

Backflipping to the past I’d return with a gun

You’d return with a badly drawn picture of your mum

You’re staring at my crotch, I’m try’na have a cotch

Spent the last 5 hours staring at my watch

Man I just wanna leave, you just wanna grieve

I’m long past hearing about the shit that you believe

See I turn up to The Shoobs, you turn up in a bush

Last seen suckling the virgin in the woods

Man I just wanna lounge, you just wanna scrounge

I got a pair of creepy little eyes I can gouge

And I’ll hand 'em to you, have a chat with your crew

I bowl around free, you’re entangled in glue

Gluey hands of a nonce, you’re banned from the swamps

I’m try’na cook an egg, you’re a cancerous ponce

I’m living on the edge, you’re living in a hedge

I’m try’na make an album, you’re try’na make a wedge

I’m calling you a chief, you’re calling the police

I’m trawling in the street and you’re absorbed in the mystique

Man I’m working for myself, you work for someone else

You watch the world turn while I watch the world melt

Shut up!