Collide - Diabolic

This is for everybody out there… whoever fucked up their life

Or had someone close do it for 'em

My 3-year-old son says he wants to go to mommy’s

It’s heartbreaking, she’s been doing dope and roxies

I know it’s too much for him to understand

That she let drugs get the upper hand, fucking up his plans

I know he loves her but I don’t trust her

Enough to leave him alone in a home with his own mother

Oh brother, it’s bad enough my child support is turning

Into powder on the counter she’s about to snort

Now I’m out in court fighting over custody

Luckily, the judge can see it’s all about my son for me

Well luckily, they agreed, handed me the orders

Same court I dropped 12 G’s in to see my daughter

A lot’s happened since she moved away in '05

Her spiteful ass mom, homie believes her own lies

Her jealous husband calls my cell like I’ma tell my cousins

Out in Yonkers cuz where you live got me really buggin'

Detect the sarcasm, I don’t even bark at 'em but if I think

About the situation then my heart spasms

My daughter probably thinks her father doesn’t care, 'cuz I wasn’t there,

and it seems like her brother’s taking up her share

Plus I’m here with this good girl, she’s so great

She lies to me saying, «Baby it’ll be okay!»

There’s no way it’s okay I spent the whole day stressin' 'cuz my son’s sick,

and I can’t afford to co-pay

This is how my thoughts move and collide to live with the shit I do to survive

Moving through all the rumors and lies, I’m just trying to find the truth in

disguise

Folks say I should keep the faith, believe in god, but

God doesn’t answer when I’m praying for a decent job

It’s even harder watching people make a killin' while I stood by

A good guy, forced to play the villian

They say the way I’m feelin' actually defines you, plus the way you persevere

is why they get behind you

Rumor has it Babygrande wants to sign you, that’s crazy

Chuck’s a shady fuck, you’ve being lied to

I was forced to take my Viper deal and re-work it, 'cuz me losing an old friend

to business didn’t seem worth it

From the outside looking in, it seems perfect, when in fact, rap

Made my life a three-ring circus

Like I said I got a new girl, who leads her life responsibly

Her philosophy’s that it’ll be 'aight

Somehow I feel the need to fight, scream and hipe

Probably because I think I’m the piece of shit that I treat her like

I need advice, call tabs, weave 'em tight, Jesus Christ

I hope he calls back before I fall flat

And Sean snaps, 'cuz he don’t get enough sleep, it seems

Attention runs deep and eats at him like lunch meat

Leading him to believe the end is complete, and his

Heart breaks, and doesn’t mean he keeps the tempo up beat

It just means that unleash a beast is left to unleash

A shootin' spree, 'cuz as you see, it’s been a rough week

This is how my thoughts move and collide to live with the shit I do to survive

Moving through all the rumors and lies, I’m just trying to find the truth in

disguise