JAP Battle [Reprise] - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast, Rachel Bloom, Rachel Grate

All of our lives you were toxic

Obnoxious

Now though, you’ve brought me from nauseous to naches

I’m proud of you, Bunch

You’re a grown-up, you got this

Kol hakavod, you’re a goddess

Me?!

But you’re so responsible

Career’s on sizzle

Husband, ditto

Three great kiddos

You’ve got competence, class

Plus a skinny-ass waist

And a toned-ass ass

Well, you’ve got a free spirit, which I see and commend

So, like 2 Chainz without the «NZ» at the end

I wish you double chai

For following the tug

Of the heart behind your 36 triple-D jugs

Wow, what a boost for my confidence!

Yeah, I mean, I gotta give it up

I’m pretty good at giving compliments

Nice bubble, Bubbeleh, I really hate to pop it

But nobody’s got a plaudit any hotter than I drop it

This is…

A JAP praise fight

Half affirmation

Half cage fight

Killing you with kindness

Yeah, you’re dang right

It’s a head-to-head yasher koach mazel tov off

You know what?

Let’s squash it, you’re awesome

Seconded!

Same!

Rebecca-wise, my game recognize game

Thanks, I appreciate that

Yeah, I mean, there’s a reason I’m called «Esteem queen Levine»

Can it with the accolades-slash-shade-catapulting

You are the one who is great at adulting

All your hard work, ultimately resulting in triumph

Damn, that’s some sneaky insulting

Skip the emotional judo

I am the B. Knowles-Carter of kudos

I’m the Lebron James of acclaim

Then you might as well call me the Michelle of the kvell

Go to hell!

This is…

A JAP cheer scrimmage

Like a rap battle

But the mirror image

Both of us’ll feel great

When we’re finished

Giving a dope-slap of dap to this JAP…

(Spoken)

Which does stand for Jewish-American Princess, a term that, on one hand,

does reinforce negative, negative stereotypes about both Jews and women but,

on the other hand, is a term that we want to reclaim and own.

Also,

should acknowledge that me saying «dap to this jap» is appropriative and a

little problematic, if we’re being honest

(Sung)

This is touchy stuff and it’s pretty complicated

But I noticed the dynamic and I thought that I should name it

Just like I hated you, but now I kinda like you

This song’s another thing I can see two sides to

Terrific self-awareness

Knock it off, Audra!

You never stop, do you?

Can’t and don’t wanna

You’re a wonderful lady

But an insufferable baby

Should we make out?

What?!

No!

Maybe…