Fuckton Of Cats - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast, Rachel Bloom

It’s come to this

Like I knew it would

Since I’m now

Single for good

I know just what

I gotta do

I gotta go get myself

A fuckton of cats!

A fuckton of cats!

A fuckton of cats!

Way too many cats!

When you’re a permanent bachelorette

It’s mandatory that you go out and get

A fuckton of cats!

Oh yeah!

I walk myself down to the lonely lady cat store

The smell is overwhelming inside

This is the future smell of my house

It’s the smell of my dreams that have died

I walk up to the cat shelf

Where the cats are labeled big and small

The sales lady asks, «Is there one you like?»

And I state, «I'll take them all!»

I want a fuckton of cats!

Meow!

A fuckton of cats!

Gimme a fuckton of cats!

Meow!

A fuckton of cats!

Meow!

The sales lady’s pumped

She’s closing early

And heading home to her sad walk-up apartment

Filled with her own fuckton of cats!

Meow, meow, meow

That she got at a discount

Meow, meow, meow

'Cause she works at the cat store

Meow, meow, meow

Meow, meow, meow

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow

Why have cats, over time, become

Synonymous with loneliness?

We gotta work on our collective image

We need a new publicist

The ironic part is we’re not that friendly

If you’re lonely, we might make it worse

Also, we sleep, like, sixteen hours a day

Have you considered getting a dog?

Nope!

I want a fuckton of you guys!

Okay, we warned you

A fuckton of cats!

We’re gonna ruin your couch

There’s a lot of evidence that

Organisms in cat poop make you crazy

Yes, we saw that article in the Atlantic

And then we peed on the Atlantic

But I still want a fuckton of cats!