Toll Booth Willie - Adam Sandler

Toll Booth Willie: Welcome to Worchester.

Dollar twenty-five please.

M1: Hey, how ya doin’Toll Booth Willie?

Toll Booth Willie: Good!

Thanks fer askin, pop!

M1: Aww, that’s great, you know, considering yer a fuckin’idiot!

Toll Booth Willie: Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch!

I’ll come right

outta the booth and fuckin’whack ya, you fuckin’prick!

M2: Hey, hey, Willie!

Hows it going?

Toll Booth Willie: Hey, can’t complain, pop.

Hows 'bout you?

M2: Oh, great, great.

How much?

Toll Booth Willie: The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.

M2: That’s fine.

Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the

quarters directly up your fat ass?!

Toll Booth Willie: Why you fuckin’hard on!

I’ll fucking Carlton Fisk

yer fuckin’head with a Louise-ville fuckin’slugger!

Whadya think of that ass fuck?!

F1: Hi Willie.

Toll Booth Willie: Oh, nice to see ya M’am.

Not a bad day, huh?

F1: Well, I’m a little lost.

Could you help me out?

I hear your the

best with directions.

Toll Booth Willie: Well I know my way around New England.

I can tell ya that much.

So where ya headed?

F1: Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive

up your ass.

You know, if you’d tell me, I’d appreciate it, you fuckin'

prick.

Toll Booth Willie: You fuckin’bitch!

Fuck you!

You forgot to pay the

fuckin’toll you dirty whore!

I’ll fuckin’drop you with a boot to the

fuckin’skull you cum guzzling queen!

M3: Hey Willie.

Toll Booth Willie: Hey, how are ya?

M3: Here’s a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself.

Toll Booth Willie: Dah, you fuckin’prick!

I hope you choke on a fuckin’bottle cap, ya fuckin’son of a fuck!

Eat shit!

Eat my shit!

Bishop Nelson: Hello Willie.

Good to see you.

Toll Booth Willie: Ahhh, Bishop Nelson.

Nice to see ya.

That was quite

a sermon you had the other day.

Bishop Nelson: Hey, well I do my best.

Toll Booth Willie: Dollar twenty-five, Bishop.

Bishop Nelson: Dollar twenty-five, Willie.

Isn’t that the same price

your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit?!

Toll Booth Willie: Ohhh!

Have another one, you fuckin’lush!

It’s not

my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin’douche bag!

M5: Hey!

Toll Booth Willie: Well hey!

M5: Yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters

directly up your fat ass?!

Toll Booth Willie: Well, I already heard that one you fuckin'

unoriginal bastard!

Go suck a corn you fuckin’piece of repeatin’shit!

F2: Hi.

Toll Booth Willie: Oh, hi.

How are ya?

F2: Fine, thank you.

How much is the toll please?

Toll Booth Willie: For you sweetheart, it’s a dollar twenty-five.

F2: Here ya go.

F2: Thank you.

Toll Booth Willie: Hey!

Hey!

Honey!

Would you like a receipt with

that?

F2: Oh, I almost forgot.

Thank you so much.

Toll Booth Willie: And here ya are.

F2: Umm, do you think you could sign it?

Toll Booth Willie: Oh, uh.

sign it?

F2: Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here.

Toll Booth Willie: Ok, sure.

Uhh, by the way, what is this for?

F2: Just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest

fuckin’dip shit with the smallest dick alive.

You understand.

Toll Booth Willie: Fuck you, you fuckin’upity bitch!

I’ll fuckin’fuck

you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin'

mothers!

You’re gonna die, bitch!

I’m comin’outta the booth!

[Opens

the door and runs out of the booth]

Toll Booth Willie: Ooooh!

My fuckin’leg!

M6: Hey!

You ran over Toll Booth Willie!

M7: Oh my God!

I was always wondering what it would be like to run over

a dried up stinky dick licker.

Toll Booth Willie: Why you fuckin’pricks.

I fuckin’hear every fuckin'

word yer saying!

When this fuckin’leg heals, I’m gonna kick you guys new fuckin'

assholes!