Geniuses - Trevor Moore

Benjamin Franklin went out into the storm and bravely let his kite go up in the

air

He risked his life on an idea that night and thanks to him we now have light

everywhere

Louis Pasteur never gave up on his cures, and thanks to him now we all have a

vaccine

And Orville and Wilbur toured until they delivered what until then had just

been in a dream

Goddamn, white people are geniuses

Goddamn, it really blows me away

I know it’s not cool to talk about it, but it’s just something that I’ve got to

say (Trevor- Trevor-)

Can you imagine a (Trevor!) world where white people just did not exist?

That would be such a terrible thing and someth-

Hey, Trevor?

Yes?

What, what?

Is that the song?

Yeah, why?

Well… it's racist

What?

No, it’s not

Yes it is, it’s a racist song

What do you mean?

I’m just copying things down exactly from this history book

Okay, you’re just saying that only white people are geniuses

No, I’m not!

There’s geniuses from other races

The way you’re singing it, it’s implying that there are more people who are

geniuses that are white than any other kind of race

Uh, well, that’s not what the song’s about

Well, that’s what it sounds like

Really?

Yes!

Really!

You can’t just single out an entire race and say they’re the ones

who are geniuses!

You have to incorporate all the races.

You have to talk about

black geniuses, Mexican geniuses, Asian geniuses!

Huh, okay.

I kinda see what you’re saying

Yeah

Sorry about that.

Just- Just give me a minute, I can fix it… Okay, I got it

Remember- Okay, just, all kinds of geniuses.

Not just white

Okay, thank you

Lots of other races have geniuses too

Don’t let anybody tell you other

George Washington Carver was a black guy who figured out how to make peanut

butter

La da dum da daa be da da da da de da dum doo

Dee dee da da da da da da da le dee ba ba da ba mmm ba da da mmm

La da da da da da da da bu dm ba ma boo bup ba bee

That’s all you got?!

That’s all that’s in the history book!

It’s one page, George Washington Carver!

Where did you get that book?!

It’s mine from school!

Where did you go to school?!

Virginia, in the 1980s, why?

You know what I’m gonna call Doug in here

What?

No no no no no don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t call Doug, don’t call Doug

No no no no no, I’m gonna bring him in and maybe he can tell you about some of

the famous geniuses of black history

No se-se-se-se-se (Hey, Doug! You busy? Can you get in here?) stop stop stop

stop stop stop stop stop stop

Ayy, wassup, man?

Hey!

This is Trevor.

(Hey) He’s currently recording a song called «White People are Geniuses»

Uh, uh!

«-Amongst uh Many Other Races of Geniuses» that’s what the full title

is gonna be

He thinks the only thing black people have invented is peanut butter

N-no I don’t!

No I don’t!

No, I-I know that black people have invented tons of

things

Like what?

Like… rap… Rap?

Like, a hugely popular music that’s integral to our culture?

What else?

Uh… basketball?

(Oh, Jesus) Sike, I didn’t say that, I didn’t mean that,

I didn’t say that

So, according to you, the only things that black people have invented have been

rap, basketball, and peanut butter

I know that black people have a huge part in shaping this entire country!

Uh, there were black people that signed the Declaration of Independence!

No!

Holy shit

That did not happen, there were no black people.

They were a little busy,

they were a little tied up at the moment

I’m sorry.

I’m not very well versed in other cultures' history.

So,

can you help me?

Alright.

Well, black people invented air conditioning, cell phones,

the stethoscope, typewriters, the first mechanical heart, doorknobs, elevators,

fire extinguishers, the guitar, stop lights, potato chips, gas masks,

the Super Soaker, and the cabbage patch

Black people invented the Cabbage Patches?

Nah, this.

The cabbage patch

Oh, that’s dope

But y’all wouldn’t know that.

Y’all wouldn’t even think about it.

'Cause you’re so wrapped up in your racist world view

Wow, I didn’t know all that.

So, thanks

Don’t mention it.

I’m charging overtime for this

Anything you need, anything you need.

Anything

Anything

Thank you so much, Doug.

Thank you, Doug!

Thank you!

Take the rest of the day!

Are we good

Yeah.

But, I’m gonna Google some of that stuff because, I dunno

Jesus- Fuck you