The Chairman Rolls Again - The Stupendium

Player: I… I don’t remember these rules…

Chairman: Trust me, Scrabbopoly is the only way to play… oh!

I won a beauty

contest!

Oop, just a minute!

Dan Bull: If any other Youtuber wants to challenge me to a Scrabble match,

they can make a video, and call me out, before I make a decision.

So if you guys have a favorite Youtuber that you love watching,

and would love to see gird the board with me, the Scrabbull, then let them

know people, let them know.

But not Jake Paul because Jake Paul is literally

(fades off)

Dan…

It’s…

Admirable, you want to battle at Scrabble

But are you after a challenge?

Or do you just dabble?

You may do fine against the rest of the rabble

But to grapple my talent you best be grabbing your saddle

If you tackle me!

The grammatical cavalry!

Alphabetical stampede, to trample my adversaries

On a valiant steed that I papier-mached

From all the villains I’ve slayed, and Oxford dictionary pages

I’ll tea bag you with my tile bag, anarchy!

I top the tables every tabletop fantasy league

Any letters on my rack for you would spell calamity

Call me Elphabet, my skill’s defying gravity

I’ve got a filter to prevent Spam

I guess you got through because you’re cheese and ham

So when I lay you out on the board

Well, I guess you could call me an artisan

Sure on YouTube, you might be the man

But you’ve got a lot of beef for a vegan, Dan

Go rap about Fortnite, appease your fans

Or be spread too thin, like a teeny jam

Got-to war with the Chairman of the Board?

Delusional!

You see crappy letters?

It’s my score in numerals

There’s a reason there are seven tiles in funeral

Hate to say it, Dan, playing Junior isn’t usual

How to get it through to you?

I’ll talk in terms of PUBG

It’s a 100 to 1 that you could touch me

Thanks for the collab, I don’t need your fans to buff me

I’ve got a Q and I don’t need U to succeed

That’s a lot of fans, man.

The buzz is deserved

But I’ve never seen anyone buy a T-Shirt???

I’ve got a swarm now, so I’ve got a bee herd

And when I’m dissing you, I’m not afraid to use the P-word

Pusillanimous, pathetic, purely pacifist

Throws a punch precisely with the power of a platypus

Smack you so hard it’s like I crammed you in the Animus

So then you’ll understand that you’re as crappy as your ancestors

An Adder on a bird of prey’s platter

And in that situation, you’re the snake, I’m the latter

Pick any board game, I’ll leave you in tatters

No going overboard when I battle ship rappers

On ERB you RP’d some dead Britons

Mess with me, eventually, you’ll end up dead with 'em

Or at the very least temporarily bed-ridden

Incidentally, NicePeter, my rhymes are well-written!

You’re just a chicken, stink of Pew-55y

Hit me up, I’m chilling sipping Brut '55 wine

Gonna rebuttal me douglby?

What’s your pipeline?

Oh, you need to phone a friend?

You want a lifeline?

I’ve got a 9 to 5 and I can find time

I do my videos myself in the night time

Haven’t slept a wink in months, I think it’s high time

To take a nap, but I’m always up for fight rhymes!

I like to think we’re mates, right?

Play fight?

Games Night, makin' like we’re fighting in the daylight

Farm a little drama, gotta get the clickbait hype

Berate my rhymes but simultaneously parade my

Face on your channel in the hopes your fanbase might

Come over to mine, maybe drop a like, say «Hi!»

But wait right there, Dan, Scrabble is a way of life

Let a player get away, you’ll never see that day arrive

So come on Dan Bull, you think you’re a handful?

I’m settling Catan, you’re in a jam with Screwball Scramble

Happenstance that your battleplans were in anagrams

Your name’s an anagram for your skills: Bad Null

This was a Risk, but guess who’s Bold?

I’m a Hungry Hippocrite, squeezing views out of insults

Meet me on the board, no proper nouns involved

I don’t have your subs, but can pronounce «evolve»

A spot of Pictionary, can you pass the trial?

It’s a pic depicting me the victor by a mile!

I’ll crush you with a flippin' dictionary and all the while

I’ll be writing your obituary in little wooden tiles…

Chairman: Uh, where were we?

Erm.

Oh!

Roll for Initiative!

Oh, you’ve hit a

snake!

In the kitchen!