Malcolm Tucker - The LaFontaines

I lost my touch… What?

For like four or five minutes

Got it back, now I’m boasting

They say I’m hot, but I’m roasting

I’ve got so much fan mail, they call me the postman

I’m only playing with your feelings

Cause half your fan base, resides on the ceilings

Funny that, like a joke that I told at my last show, playing to the masses

So confident, so nonchalant, as a front man, I should teach classes

See, some of you don’t know what a laugh is

Or if my tongues placed in my cheek

Malcolm Tucker here, when I speak

Dr Who’s in theatre this week, get it?

PC, the worlds went mad, I draw the line at my blackboard

Never used one since primary, but as a case study that would do nicely

My arrival here was quite timely, see we started off quite tiny

Independent, they can come and find me, fuck major labels trying to refine me

But then came Mark from LAB with his little backpack, and a pitch,

that would make us see sense

Put us all up on the map, now we’re all up on the chart

Each single makes us 4 pence — Each

Balling — Like a boss, I’m Scotland’s own Rick Ross

Even my dentist hates when I floss, 15K, annual, gross, — I make that

We don’t care for what you talk about or dramatise

We don’t like you for the bullshit that you glamorise

I pushed record upon the tape, and to my surprise

I heard them say, Heard them, heard them, heard them say, I heard them.

Aha back with it, that’s a funny big on the track innit?

B-side, just flexing, because Under The Storm was for impressing

Now we’re just messing, with no thought to it, on this Fontaine train no stop

to it

And I can ride the track with no hands, I’m the main font like comic sans

Get it together, we’re about to board a plane to the states, if we keep our

little nose clean

Climbing out or seat, like Wolf Of Wall Street, banging airhostesses in the

plane scene

Font boys, and we’re living the dream, still five bad boys who live in the

scheme

Five, whatcha waiting four if you wanna

Three (three)

Two (two)

One let’s do it

We don’t care for what you talk about or dramatise

We don’t like you for the bullshit that you glamorise

I pushed record upon the tape, and to my surprise

I heard them say, Heard them, heard them, heard them say, I heard them.