Charlton Heston - STUMP

The pyramids were in construction

The pharoah glowed with satisfaction

But then to his immense surprise

His empire fell before his eyes

A hundred thousand busy slaves

Downed their tools and stood and stared

The Red seawalls stood like a canyon

The pharoah pulled up in his wagon

And saw within those walls of glass

A herd of whales go racing past

A hundred thousand fishy tales

Crossed his mind about the day

Then Charlton Heston put his vest on

The broken tablets had been mended

The golden calf had been up-ended

And old folk sitting round the fire

Would talk of voices from the sky

Babies sailing down the Nile

The recipe for locust pie

A hundred thousand frogs per mile

We’d always ask them to describe

How Charlton Heston put his vest on

Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal

Shalt not commit adultery

Boils the size of fifty pee

Lights!

Camel!

Action!

Bushes that refuse to burn

See these sandals hardly worn

Raining blood, raining bread

The night we painted Egypt red

Thou shalt not covet, shalt not lie

Thou shalt not bonk your neighbour’s wife

The recipe for egg fried lice

A hundred ways to kill a fly

Love your daddy, love your mummy

Put your bread in milk and honey

Loved his fish, he did, he did

Never beat the wife and kids

Slouch though desert, slouch through sand

Until we reach the promised land

Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal

Shalt not commit adultery

Boils the size of fifty pee

Lights!

Camel!

Action!