It Wasn't Me - Steve Harley, Cockney Rebel

It wasn’t me who wrote the epitaph

I only burned the old girl’s photograph

And threw the kitten in the fire, see

You ask me your father he’ll remember mee

It was so fantastic, he burned like a matchstick

You know I’m sorry for what I’ve done

I wasn’t me who wrote to Gideon

I only ate the homing pigeon

And ordered taxis in the early hours

And sent a wreath of withered flowers

I broke both her heels, that was quite a deal

I’ve said I’m sorry for having fun

Chorus: Now you say I’m responsible for killing them

I say it was god — He was willing them

It wasn’t me who lit the kerosene

I only polished the floor with vaseline

And asked the doctor not to come around

And hid her savings in the lost and found

It was all electric when her cuts went septic

I then apologized again

It wasn’t only me who blew their brains

I certainly admit to putting chains

Around their necks so they couldn’t move

But there were others being quite crude

That was quite a gang waiting for the bang

I only take the blame for lighting the fuse

Chorus: Now you say I’m responsible for killing them

I say it was god — He was willing them

It wasn’t me who put your Ma away

It wasn’t me who put your Pa away

It wasn’t me who stole their plastic teeth

It wasn’t me who caused this awful grief

I did it all in jest, this I must confess

Anything i did was for the best

Chorus: Now you say I’m responsible for killing them

I say it was god — He was willing them