The Ladies Who Lunch - Stephen Sondheim

Here’s to the ladies who lunch

Everybody laugh

Lounging in their caftans

And planning a brunch

On their own behalf

Off to the gym

Then to a fitting

Claiming they’re fat

And looking grim

'Cause they’ve been sitting

Choosing a hat

Does anyone still wear a hat?

I’ll drink to that

And here’s to the girls who play smart

Aren’t they a gas?

Rushing to their classes

In optical art

Wishing it would pass

Another long exhausting day

Another thousand dollars

A matinee, a Pinter play

Perhaps a piece of Mahler’s

I’ll drink to that

And one for Mahler!

And here’s to the girls who play wife

Aren’t they too much?

Keeping house but clutching

A copy of Life

Just to keep in touch

The ones who follow the rules

And meet themselves at the schools

Too busy to know that they’re fools

Aren’t they a gem?

I’ll drink to them!

Let’s all drink to them!

And here’s to the girls who just watch

Aren’t they the best?

When they get depressed

It’s a bottle of Scotch

Plus a little jest

Another chance to disapprove

Another brilliant zinger

Another reason not to move

Another vodka stinger

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

I’ll drink to that

So here’s to the girls on the go

Everybody tries

Look into their eyes

And you’ll see what they know:

Everybody dies

A toast to that invincible bunch

The dinosaurs surviving the crunch

Let’s hear it for the ladies who lunch

Everybody rise!

Rise!

Rise!

Rise!

Rise!

Rise!

Rise!

Rise!

Rise!

Rise!