3 Balloons - Stephen Lynch

Call you from my car to say I’ll be there in a while

Short plane ride and I will get to see your pretty smile

Nothing on the radio, I fiddle with the dial

Then I see a sign, the airport’s just another mile

I check my bags and think about how much I hate to fly

And as I near security, I almost start to cry

Well, I hope the Law Enforcement Agents can’t tell from my face

I’ve got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place

I’m sweating and I’m nervous and I need a little air

Because with four balloons of heroin it’s getting crowded up in there crowded

up in there

My mind is all a jumble and my blood is cold as ice

The dreadful thought of having to unload this merchandise

Relax, I say it’s not that bad, it might feel kind of nice

Besides, who hasn’t had a finger up there once or twice

I must remember, don’t leave any drugs inside the host

I did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed

Well, I say a little prayer, hail Maria full of grace

I’ve got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place

I’m sweating and I’m nervous and I need a little air

And I swear I’m farting lots of blow into my underwear from my derrière

I was a little eager when I loaded up my stash

Five balloons of ecstasy and six balloons of hash

Eight balloons of LSD and nine of sensimilla

A box of Chinese fireworks, a Guatemalan child

I made it to the gate now, my joy I can’t contain

I board the airplane, take my seat in the cockpit of the plane

As I taxi down the runway, I get a smile on my face

I’ve got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place

Flight crew, prepare for take off, as I lift us into air

And by the way does anyone want to buy a Guatemalan child, from my derrière?

I’ve got three balloons

I’ve got three balloons

I’ve got three balloons