Raindrops - Slaughterhouse, Novel

Tear drops in the pillow of my bed

Still trying to keep my head up

Know you’d rather see me dead

And the raindrops keep on falling

I said they keep on falling

And they keep on falling

I said they keep on falling

I’m the product of when a nigga Momma gives up

Crying, lying in the trash with the lid shut

Ain’t got no family my mind is tender my

Daddy’s invisible my Moms is Brenda

If I survive I’m grow into what

Society considers trash the rope is to us

That means I’m hanging myself by living

The noose is getting murdered that or going to prison

My minds controlled before I learned mind control

What you call living life I call dying slow

I’m genetically predisposed

The reaper the only thing that can ease my soul freezing cold

Feeling like I was given life and if I take it at least I choose

I’ll probably be in heaven when the pain stops

'Till then all I’m hearing is wind and rain drops

Tear drops in the pillow of my bed

Still trying to keep my head up

Know you’d rather see me dead

And the raindrops keep on falling

I said they keep on falling

And they keep on falling

I said they keep on falling

(Cause this is my pain)

Dear auntie I still feel your timeless sorrow

Before you died it’s like your body was mine to borrow

Like I jumped in your physical shell

While you was going through miserable hell

Saying goodbye to tomorrow, everyday it makes me sad, angry, mad

How you were sent to Heaven’s sacred path

Duct taped and gagged plus raped and stabbed

Body draped in blood what a fate to have

Such a pitiful end I’m popping Ritalin like they skittles cause

When I sleep I can feel it again and again and again it’s difficult

Killing is the wickedest biblical sin

I’m talking about momma’s identical twin

I see your face when I look at her

Her reminder of how I’ve been in the cold

Since 14 years old (swear to God)

I’ll probably be in heaven when the pain stops

'Till then all I’m hearing is wind and raindrops

(Rest in peace, Chacha)

Tear drops in the pillow of my bed

Still trying to keep my head up

Know you’d rather see me dead

And the raindrops keep on falling

I said they keep on falling

And they keep on falling

I said they keep on falling

Nah I ain’t move bricks on the Peter Pan

No father around to teach me how to be a man

We was too high didn’t know when we would land

Sprinkling coke on the weed so niggas didn’t see a plant

Alcoholic’s child, raised off of sugar water

Hid it so you would just thought bout how good he was brought up

Coulda woulda oughta one track mind

They say man of many hats buys a hooker for a quarter

And now I’m writing a book and the hoods the author

Called the «Obvious Poker Face The Look of Torture»

Teach you how to climb your way out that ditch then

Me all I need is this pen and thick skin

Being so bright could mean you lit then

Cause you start trying to figure out a figment

I’ll probably be in heaven when the pain stops

'Til then all I hear is wind and rain drops

Tear drops in the pillow of my bed

Still trying to keep my head up

Know you’d rather see me dead

And the raindrops keep on falling

I said they keep on falling

And they keep on falling

I said they keep on falling

(Check it out)

I’m still waiting on my dad to get back

He went to the store in '84 and I ain’t seen him after that

Another single mom public assisted the rent wasn’t consistent

So they had us back and forth to court in the months of the blizzard (Freezing)

My sneakers leaned the rubber was missing

No one on ones they always jumped me no brothers and sisters to hold me down

Along with headphones plugged into a cheap Walkman that ate tapes

Gun shots and me sleep walking I hate weights

A whole lot of crying police chalking that fate tape

Ambulance never on time they like a day late

My cousin ain’t had to vacate my best friend since age eight

Sometimes I can’t hold them I kid you not

Eyes get swollen holding on that tissue box

Somebody get a mop

I’ll probably be in heaven when the pain stops

'Till then all I’m hearing is wind and raindrops

Tear drops in the pillow of my bed

Still trying to keep my head up

Know you’d rather see me dead

And the raindrops keep on falling

I said they keep on falling

And they keep on falling

I said they keep on falling