Anguish - Sandpeople

I´ve been conditioned since before I denied being a christian

In denial, on trial, on fire

Entire worlds collapse with the weight of their words

Words can construct a sanctuary that changes in a day

In a way it makes sense, as dense images fade

And I take time forget the finer things in life

Despite not understanding this numbing sensation

I’ll cave in probably before I prevail

I´ll excel past places others promised to fail

Success is subjective and dismantles the collective

As remedy is a raised duality, dueling, ruining my blissful ignorance

Refueling my renaissance

I´m lost seeking to be found, listening for sound

Wearing this crown facade proudly

The crowd be playing my insecurities

As I nervously ask you to murder me

It should have been an identity resurrection

With childhood memories I keep on forgetting

As this continues, conditions prove to be contagious

As I am ethic and ethic has become anguish

Have you ever felt this way?

Or am I the only one?

Anguish has taken a place in my heart

And all I can do is run, away

Transform this child of the storm

???

this thorn has caught my sight without unveiling itself

Unconditional love seems to have guidelines

Landmines places on an already narrow trail

Driven by desire to be driven by the third nail

And somewhere on my walk I´m bound to pick myself up

But if you give me your hand I´ll be eternally grateful

Well as I human I have to trouble discerning what it distasteful

I´m playful when it comes to matters of live and death

First and last breath being taken and being left

With the ability to all truth into what I can accept

And I know lust better than I know respect

And I don’t cuss but that don’t make your mind darker than mine

I´ve seen the abyss and done things people would find

Strange to say the least

(deranged) feed the beast

I recently acquired a need to live in peace

As footprints in the sand speak with the weight of words

I live in the hourglass struggling to be heard

And I have covered quiet land in search of language

As I am ethic and ethic is anguish

Have you ever felt this way?

Or am I the only one?

Anguish has taken a place in my heart

And all I can do is run away

Isolated staring through an eyelid backdrop

I can´t stop considering where I´ll be in a few

Years, from today, with a new outlook on everything

That I one time maybe made a difference

As major turns into minor I get no resistance

I´m a terrible witness and need not fake being convinced

It´s gonna´ work out

Though I hold tight to the faith I have

Of always been one to take too much of a bad thing

I live in extremes and am not who I seem

A cry for help might not play out in traditional scenes

Hiding behind laughter, held up by ???

???

plasma

Watch as I shatter right here on this track

What I´m speaking today I wish I could take back

And act like there´s nothing compressing my brain

Pretend like I am happy and only ethic remains

The fact is right now there´s a lot to sort out

I´m swimming in doubt and surviving on hope

And I can live without an answer now if that what´s required

But I think this empire has been built on the guilt of it’s sire

Every construction is an order from the ground level

A requiem for order, pierce me like metal

Blades of a wakening beginning is banished

As ethic slowly separates from his anguish

Have you ever felt this way

Or am I the only one?

Anguish has taken a place in my heart

And all I can do is run away