Too Fat To Fly - Roger Alan Wade

There ain’t no wings on a pachyderm, you’re too fat to fly

There ain’t no wings on a barnyard pig, you’re too fat to fly

And there ain’t no wings on your big ass and there ain’t no wonder why

If you get on I’m gettin off, you’re too fat to fly

Greyhound will get you there, you’re too fat to fly

Bus tires will need extra air, you’re too fat to fly

Who sold your big ass a ticket?

Lets all kiss our ass goodbye

Ol' butterball’s gonna crash us all, you’re too fat to fly

There’s a box cart on a circus train, you’re too fat to fly

They’ll hose ya down if it don’t rain, you’re too fat to fly

Shovel out your stall twice today, I pity that poor guy

Them trapeze studs better grab their nuts, you’re too fat to fly

If that don’t work sit on your thumb, you’re too fat to fly

Tell 'em when the asked «how come», you’re too fat to fly

Hitchhike to Alabam', big ol' ham, with a banjo on your thigh

Till they throw some hay in the cargo bay, you’re…too…fat…to…fly