Harps and Angels - Randy Newman

Hasn’t anybody seen me lately

I’ll tell you why

Hasn’t anybody seen me lately

I’ll tell you why

I caught something made me so sick

That I thought that I would die

And I almost did too

First my knees begin to tremble

My heart begin to pound

First my knees begin to tremble

My heart begin to pound

It was arrhythmic and out of tune

I lost my equilibrium

And fell face down upon the ground

As I lay there on that cold pavement

A tear ran down my face

'Cause I thought I was dying

You boys know I’m not a religious man

But I sent a prayer out just in case

You never know

Lo and behold almost immediately

I had reason to believe my prayer had been heard in a very special place

'Cause I heard this sound

Ooooh

Yes

Ooooh

Yes, it was harps and angels

Harps and angels coming near

I was too sick to roll over and see them

But I could hear them singing ever so beautifully in my ear

Then the sound began to subside

And they sounded like background singers

And a voice come down from the heavens above

It was a voice full of anger from the Old Testament

And a voice full of love from the New One

And the street lit up like it was the middle of the day

And I lay there quiet and listened to what that voice had to say

He said, «You ain’t been a good man

You ain’t been a bad man

But you’ve been pretty bad

Lucky for you this ain’t your time

Someone very dear to me has made another clerical error

And we’re here on a bit of a wild goose chase

But I want to tell you a few things

That’ll hold you in good stead when it is your time

So you better listen close

I’m only going to say this once

When they lay you on the table

Better keep your business clean

'Fore they lay you on the table

Better keep your business clean

Don’t want no back stabbing, ass grabbing

You know exactly what I mean

Alright girls — we’re outta here»

Ooooh

«Encore.

Encore.»

Ooooh

«Tres bien

Encore»

And off they went into the night

Almost immediately I felt better

And I come round to see you boys

'Cause you know we ain’t living right

And while it was fresh

I wanted to tell you what he told me

He said, «When they lay you on the table

Better keep your business clean

When they lay you on the table

Better keep your business clean

Else there won’t be no harps and angels coming for you

It’ll be trombones, kettle drums, pitchforks and tambourines»

Sing it like they did for me one time

Ooooh — yes

Ooooh — beautiful

Wish I spoke French

So actually the main thing about this story is for me

There really is an afterlife

And I hope to see all of you there

Let’s go get a drink