Half a Man - Randy Newman

This big old queen was standing

At the corner of the street

Waved his hanky at me as I went rolling by

I pulled the truck up on the sidewalk

And I climbed down from the cab

With my tire-chain and my knife

As I approached him

He was trembling like a bird

Raised the chain above my head

She said, «Please, before you kill me

Might I have one final word?»

And this is what he said:

«I am but

Half a man

Half a man

I’d like to be a dancer

But I’m much too large

Half a man

Half a man

I’m an object for your pity

Not your rage.»

Uh, oh

Oh, the strangest feeling

Sweeping over me

Both my speech and manner

Have become much more refined

I said, «Oh, what is this feeling?

What is wrong with me?»

She said, «Girl

Happens all the time»

«Now you are

Half a man!

Half a man!

Look, you’re walking

And you’re talking

Like a fag!»

Half a man

I am half a man

Holy Jesus

What a drag