Best Little Girl - Randy Newman

I once knew a girl

Her name was Barbara

The cutest little muffin you have ever seen

I was livin' in St. Louis

At the Chase Hotel

And she lived there

With her mommy and her daddy

And her little brother Skipper

Who was just thirteen

Just thirteen!

She went to Church every morning

Said her prayers real loud every night

She was the best little girl

In the whole damn town

Watch it, Devil

But you know I’m right

You know I’m right

One morning in the lobby

I whispered in her ear

«Honey, it’s too hot today to go to school

Whyn’t you call up

That cute little lifeguard?

He’s out by the hotel pool.»

They drank all her daddy’s whiskey

They took all her momma’s pills

They were found the next day

Drowned in their own vomit

Poor little fool

Poor little fool