Honesty - Our Mirage

«The summer of 2003, after the mania and during the depression, like,

I tried to do, I mean, I was still in school

But I tried to do some part-time work, and, it wasn’t happening

It was too, overwhelming

'Cause that’s one of the major things with depression that I’ve experienced

It’s just this really crippling sense of being overwhelmed

By things that aren’t even my responsibility

Like, I remember driving with my mom places and we’d be going to the grocery

store or something, and we’d drive by a construction site, and suddenly I would

just feel crushed by the, the thought of having to go to this construction site!

It’s like, why?

It’s not even my responsibility

And so, actually having any responsibility was out of the question

So that summer, for sure, I could not work

But after the hospitalization, following the suicide attempt, from that point

forward, I’ve been able to work pretty consistently

But the upside of being very upfront with my, my bosses and my supervisors has

been that, I mean, 'cause there have been times where I’ve had to say, 'Hey,

I need to manage, like, some hypomania

So, I’m gonna take this day off because I have to take this medication,

and because of this medication, I won’t be able to work this day.'

Um, so you know, kind of like managing any other medical issue;

do this and that

With depression, a lot of times I’ll tell my employers, 'I'm having a tough

time right now.'

It doesn’t usually impair my ability to work, but it affects me and I have to

be honest with them about what’s going on»