shadow - Nobigdyl., Jesstaylo, Sarah Juers

It goes dark

And it is most definitely a moment of utter disorientation

Utter lostness, no warmth, no life, no movement

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Love you so much that the issues I used to hold on to are nothing,

they’re minuscule

Love you so much that I make it up to you whenever I flip like reciprocals

Love you so much that I blocked all my exes, I blocked all the exits,

I’m with you forever

Love you so much that I don’t even trip when they say that I’m sick and they

ridiculed

Love you so much that I gave up addiction, I stopped all the clickin',

and now it’s all clickin'

Love you so much that I changed my old number so all their attempts are just

pitiful

Love you so much that I stopped sayin' thot

Now I see women as God’s children

I see their souls and their hearts glisten

Look at them glow like they’re Marge Simpson

Love you so much that I save my receipts and I watch what I eat when I’m

gettin' food

Love you so much that I give up my seat even when I am beat and not in the mood

Love you so much that sometimes I lose sleep 'cause I can’t come to terms with

what I did to you

Love you so much that I ask God to help me smile when I’m cynical

I face these passing waves

A lonely cast away

I fight my battle

Beside my shadow

Hate me so much for the pain that I caused to the ones that I truly hold dear

Hate me so much that it comes out in tears

Hate me so much I don’t look in the mirror

Hate me so much that I slip into fantasies darker than Black Mirror seasons

Sometimes I feel like just leavin'

Don’t need a number of reasons

Hate me so much I retreat into sleep, I’m even hidin' from Jesus

Feel like I’m livin' with demons, inside my closet, are legions

Hate me so much when I’m hurt then I’m happy 'cause I tell myself I deserve it

I’m in my bed with the serpents

And they told me that I’m worthless

Hate me so much that I don’t wanna listen when you tell me I’m a good person

But you don’t give up so easy, fervent, remindin' me of my purpose

Hate me so much but you’re teachin' me love and I think that I’m startin' to

learn it

Written in crimson and cursive, quiet and curious, perfect

I face these passing waves

A lonely cast away

I fight my battle

Beside my shadow

I face these passing waves

A lonely cast away

I fight my battle

Beside my shadow