Only My Winnings - New Found Land

How can I make it

How can I do this

How can I rate it

It will never be enough

Don’t seem to stop it

Never grown out of it

Never wear it out

Never shake it off

Paralysation

So puzzeled about it

And no one seems to be who

They claimed at first hello

So dissapointed

‘though it all pointed

A recommendation

Of letting it all go

So I built a little house for my self

In a new country where no one could see

All my mistakes and all my troubles

Only my winnings could reach through the door

Everythings floating

I don’t seem to cope with

This fucked up behavious

What have I become

I don’t wanna mention

Don’t wanna name it

I just wanna sleep now

Don’t wanna make a fuzz

Without paying the hour

I become my own councelor

I see all the patterns

An ancient spell

But no solution

I got no solution

Instead I just push it

Push it 'til I fall

So I drilled a little hole in my chest

To put off the pressure

Steaming from within

All my mistakes and all my troubles

Only my winnings would reach through the skin

So I drilled a little hole in my head

To let out some demons

That keeps feeding on my brain

All my mistakes and all my troubles

Only my winnings would reach through my mouth