Morticia - Nathan Lane

Morticia, Morticia

The name alone is gold

It speaks of death and labored breath

Not fears of growing old

If I could stop the clock right now to make a simple wish

The only wish that I would wish is 'Tish, 'Tish, 'Tish

The wind that makes a window creak

The mist inside the word «mystique»

Morticia

The fluttering wings of bats in flight

Those creepy-crawly things at night

Morticia

The moment she is focused on you

Makes you feel alive

And after she is through

You hope you only just survive

Not unlike being stung

By every bee inside the hive

Morticia

The screams she saves only for you

The misery she puts you through

Morticia

Male Ancestors:

Morticia

Gomez:

The chill she brings to every room

The lethal stench of French perfume

Morticia

Male Ancestor:

Morticia

Gomez:

She meets your gaze and promises

To send you to the sky

When all the while behind that smile

She’s wondering how you’ll die

That’s why it’s so delicious

To be dominated by Morticia

Not today!

That’s what I heard her say

What’s happening to my wife!

Male Ancestors:

What’s happening to your wife?!

Gomez:

Not today!

That’s really not okay

She must be feeling blue

I don’t know what to do!

Except, perhaps, it’s true

I must, I can’t, I will

You think?

I shall

I’ll end my life!

Male Ancestors Two and Three:

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

Gomez:

Morticia

Ahh!

Male Ancestors:

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

Male Ancestors:

Morticia

Gomez:

She’s every dream

And every nightmare permanently bound

So when I’m dead asleep

That’s when I feel it most profound

But tell me you’ll come 'round

Before I’m six feet under ground

Male Ancestors:

Ohh ohh ohh

Gomez/Male Ancestors:

Morticia!

Morticia!

Gomez:

The hours playing hide and seek

That unexpected Greek technique

Morticia

Male Ancestors:

Morticia

Gomez:

A blackened heart, a darker soul

Imprisonment with no parole

Male Ancestor One:

Morticia!

Gomez (Spoken):

Nice

(Sung):

If I love you and you love me then lose this fresh facade

My ingenue, I’ll help you to avoid the firing squad

And life will be, for us you’ll see, interminably odd!

Male Ancestor:

Morticia

Gomez:

There’s not a moment I could wish

Male Ancestors:

Morticia

Gomez:

That would exclude my darling 'Tish

Male Ancestors:

Morticia!

Gomez:

Morticia

Male Ancestors:

Ah!