Became So Sweet - Natalie Duncan

I don’t seem to recall waking up

When you passed me the

Bucket and I let out my guts

There were red litanies and

Prayers of lying here forever

With lust and alcohol all mixed

Up together

No I’ve not looked upon there last 2 years

With clearer

Solecism or clever tears

More men have seemed to have

Taken my mind and my body

Than the thoughts of dying and

Becoming somebody

And I wanna, write to you, recite it to you

Before I, fight with you

Please.

You seem to have come out of

Nowhere and started

Up a fight between us

The ones that redeemed us

Are no longer here

Between our nights round the fire, so

Many pills and thrills and musings

On how long our youth

Will, hold us up before making us

Ill and then, crumble

Beneath our facilitating will

No I’d never seen so many lights

Incidentally I sold my soul

Beneath those lights and every circle

Seemed to be a line

Are we fine?

Are we searching

For a wall to beam us up

Black devil won’t you beam me up now

Hurricane now feed us love

Somewhere in the middle of these dreams

I became, I became, I became so sweet

There was a child behind your soul

Making your eyes look doughy

I always fantasised about painting your body

An immaculate sculpture, a totem

Like a tiger on a rainbow

Swooning over these shiny romanticisms

Then I wake myself up, I make myself up

'Cause maybe the mate of a soul

Is not as real as hole inside of your heart

Inside of your mind and

I’m longing for this richness to find

Comfort, wrapped around his words

Wrapped around his eyes, his anger, his truth, his cries and I

Created this minefield

And I wash away every plea to become a scene cause I

Started up in a fucked up fashion

And ended up wanting to be his housewife but

I made my mind up ten years ago and I made

Such a beautifully strange life

Because, here I am and I got the sun in my hand

I got the prospect of really becoming

Not like the films or the songs or the ideals I made up

I wanna a wall to beam me…