Women Lose Weight - Morcheeba

What a surpriser

Open your eyes, a

Woman advisor

The name of this entertainment is

Women lose weight

Our first years of marriage everything was just great

But after two kids

And the weight gain factors

Fact is, now she’s completely unattractive

Look, fat chicks

I don’t mean to sound rude

I tell her nice, hit the gym

And don’t eat so much food

But no…

«You're shallow

You need to run the course of unconditional love and so forth»

But how if desire’s not there

That’s just delayment

Divorces, child support, alimony payments

My unhappiness I doubt discourage

So hurry for an easier way out of this marriage

Meanwhile my secretary June, well groomed

«When you gonna leave your wife?»

I tell her soon, mommy, soon, I assume

Or my destiny is blue

Interestingly

The only thing left for me to do is to kill her

What a surpriser

Open your eyes, a

Woman advisor

I’m gonna have to kill her

Course there’s laws which enforces divorces

Send that ass right to the morgue miss

Kill her

What a surprise

Open your eyes

Woman advisor

I’m gonna have to kill her

Course there’s laws which enforces divorces

Send that ass right to the morgue miss

My plans against or shenanigans

Kinda ran thin

Knowin' nothing about poisoning

And I can’t swim

Bad intentions pumping

Might as well become numb

Cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong

But the catch is, do I have the nerve to dispatch this

Who can I get to help me murder this fat chick

Guess I’ll have to play a dude robbin' on wednesday

The day she usually goes food shopping

Anyway, long story short, hit the side of her Chrysler

Sent her clean over the divider

«You bastard!»

she said as the wreck went tumblin' down the hill

I thought, «She has to be dead»

Later on get a call

(from a) Lieutenant O’Rourke

(had me) leapin like a frog

We need you at the morgue

So I selfishly pursued

«Boo-hoo» there was nothing else for me to do, I had to kill her

What a surpriser

Open your eyes, a

Woman advisor

C’mon y’all, you know I had to kill her

Course there’s laws which enforces divorces

Send that ass right to the morgue miss

Kill her

What a surpriser

Open your eyes, a

Woman advisor

I had to kill her

Course there’s laws which enforces divorces

Send her ass right to the morgue miss

So you mean to tell me officer you don’t have no clue who did this hit and run?

No sir we don’t have no clues right now

This is terrible, what am I gonna tell the kids?

Pull yourself together, sir

I’m so broken up inside, I just can’t believe this

I understand, I understand

Catch the person who did this

We’re gonna try sir

Please

Screamin' «Who done took my heart?»

actin' shooken up a lot

At the funeral, though everyone was lookin at me odd, like I did it

Like I was the reason my mate’s slain, murmuring

«I heard he was displeased with her weight gain»

While my secretary, sort of a sexy blonde can’t cook

All she does is order from restaurants

«All of the sex you want»

I doubt could address, clothes not washed proper and house look a mess and

Talkin to detectives that was waitin' outside

How I took a long lunch break day the wife died

I darn near turned pale

And because of betrayal they indicted me, gave me an impossible bail

Good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent

Moral of the story is

Desire is important

So watch your weight

It’ll keep you mate smitten it’s a given

Though looking back I realised I didn’t have to kill her

What a surpriser

Open your eyes, a

Woman advisor

I didn’t have to kill her

Course there’s laws which enforces divorces

Send that ass right to the morgue miss

I killed her

What a surpriser

Open your eyes, a

Woman advisor

I didn’t have to kill her

Course there’s laws which enforces divorces

Send that ass right to the morgue miss

Well there you have it

Keep thin trim

Keep your marriage healthy

Do you know what I mean?

Small message from Morcheeba and Slick Rick the Ruler

Peace