Please no Squeeza da Banana - Louis Prima

Riley the cop would always stop

On the corner at Tony’s stand

He’d help himself to anything

On which he could lay his hand

Riley did this quite often;

Plenty of fruit he would soften

'Til Tony got sore

And inwardly swore

Then he began to shout:

«Hey!

Please no squeeza da banana!

Because when-a you do dat

Den-a you make her flat

Hey!

Please no squeeza da banana

'Cause!

When you squeeza da plum

You put-a him on the bum

You touch-a dis, you touch-a dat

You touch-a everyt’ing —

You push-a dis, you push-a dat

You never buy notting!

So please no squeeza da banana!

If you squeeza, Officer, please

Squeeza da coconut!

Hey, please no squeeza da banana

'Cause!

When you squeeza da grape

You put-a him outta shape!

You squeeza dis, you squeeza dat;

Why don’t you squeeza citroul?

Oh, please no squeeza da banana!

If you squeeza, Officer, please

Squeeza da coconut!

Hey, please no squeeza da banana

'Cause!

When-a you make-a da reach

You break him uppa da peach!

You push-a dis, you push-a dat

You muss 'em uppa da stand

You take-a dis, you take-a dat

Someday I break-a you hand!

So please no squeeza da banana

If you squeeza, Officer, please

Squeeza da coconut!

Hey, please no squeeza da banana

'Cause!

When you squeeza da pear

You act-a like a square

You touch-a dis, you touch-a dat

You flatten out-a da fig

You squeeza dis, you eat-a dat

You act-a like a pig!

So please no squeeza da banana!

If you squeeza, Officer, please

Squeeza da coconut!

Hey!

Squeeza da watermelon, hey

But please no squeeza da banana!"