The New Professor - K Rino

Ok, class, settle down.

I’d like to introduce you to your new teacher.

His name is Mr. K

Mr. K, would you like to tell the class about yourself?

I’m your new professor

I’ve improved the lesser message of your clueless testers

They’ve been removed, I am the new successor

The first assignment that I’ll burst your mind with is to break the earth’s

alignment

Find six different time zones and reverse the climate

Of course I’ll time it within the glass where the sand particles pass

That’s ten books that you must read by the end of class

This is the only way to teach you right and make you see the light

And I forgot to mention you have to read each one twice

No pens allowed in this assembly

Complex math and chemistry must instantly be committed to memory

And after you complete your twenty reads, focus your deep internal energy

Then learn to speak the language of the centipedes

No need to call you to the floor, what would you have to walk for?

I brought a self-erasing, levitating chalkboard

Every lesson is taught at Mach 4

Even the clock stops to watch your body as it learns to float through locked

doors

Many fall from stress long before they acquiesce

‘cause it’s hard to pass the test without cardiac arrest

Your brain use amount is tiny, 10 percent or less

But if someone reminds me, I’ll help you access the other 90

We’ll studying making seconds moment-less

I’ll need a five page essay describing future inventions that don’t exist

And after that, you’ll have to try and top it

Hope your mind can process bringing in a real volcano as a science project

The more progression, the deeper the lessons

Ninety multiple choice options on each of the questions

I’ll teach you to build things without reading directions

My standards so high that I’ll punish you for reaching perfection

And once I broke the spell, all of you will learn to read unopened mail

And bring a thing that can’t be shown or told about to show and tell

Before we scratch the surface, I’ll just test a person first

And every thirty seconds, blurt a whole semester’s worth of work

The consequence for bad behavior is wrenching

Sending you to detention in an evil, wicked dimension

And even though it’s only minutes, the time seems like a thousand ages

So many courses, the report cards are a thousand pages

Each slide of history recited in its chronology

Unabridged dictionaries, every word’s etymology

The Iliad and The Odyssey, you’ll judge them with mockery

You’ll even see the blue object that floats over the top of me

My classroom is an abnormal regime

Homework is rubbed into your forehead in the form of a cream

And no matter what you do, don’t ever touch this bright folder

If you miss one day of class, I’ll start your whole life over

Then at recess, we play with gamma rays on average days

Ten millenniums of curriculum all on half a page

And every mind in here, I’m linkin' ‘em

Which means you never have to raise your hands

You ask me questions by thinkin' ‘em

Increments of time I’ll wrinkle ‘em

And teach you how to carry galaxies in your book bags by shrinkin' ‘em

You will see me as ugly, I don’t need you to love me

Life or death pop quizzes on subjects that we didn’t study

I’m sure you notice several older people here in the class

There’s students from my former school who haven’t managed to pass

They’ve been with me since they were young, each class and each stage

‘cause one of the courses that they kept failing was mastering age

You’ll have to learn to see through people’s minds like x-rays do

And if you somehow pass the class, I’ll teach the next grade too

So with that said, my preamble is through, pleasure to meet’cha

By the way, I’m Mr. K, your new second grade teacher