Middle Man - John Prine

I was sitting in a diner

With a girl named flo

She wouldn’t say yes

But she couldn’t say no

She said «darling, can I get a middle man?

«She was engaged to a fellow

On the lay a way plan

But she carried all her money

In a coffee can

She said «darling, can I get a middle man?

«The cook looked over

With a short order face

Dropped a fork

And he saw flo’s legs

Straightened his apron

And burnt my eggs

I got competition

Everywhere I go

These days

She was leaning on the juke box

And was lookin' real good

Like natalie wood

On a pontiac hood

I said «darling, I think I need a little hand»

Ya see, I’ve seen my downs

I’ve seen my ups

I seen miniature dogs

In coffee cups

But «darling I ain’t never seen a middle man»

Flo talked slow

Like real wet paint

She said

«a middle man’s there

When the other ones ain’t

He’s got a left handed manner

That leans to the right

Sleeps all day

And keeps it up all night …»

… I got an aunt in ohio

And a boat that won’t row

Some veterans insurance

And nowhere to go

«darling, can I be your middle man?

"

(spoken)

If I could get the money in that coffee can

I could open me up a lemonade stand

Send all the kids off to pakistan

Make flo happy

If I can

Jerry mahoney and johnny b.

goode

Are gonna buy me a house in hollywood

«darling I think I got the perfect plan»

«we're gonna save half a dollars

And sell 'em to france

Buy us a record

And learn how to dance

And darling I’ll always be your middle

Darling go buy a griddle

Darling I wanna be your middle man