Shady Acres - Janis Ian

I think of who’s to blame

And I bow my head in shame…

So you’ve grown tired of your parents always hanging around

They spoil your children, and having grandparents is out

Yes, and they raised you well, but you wished to hell they’d go away

So you wouldn’t have to pay for their food

Forget all the years when they paid for you

Send your mother to Shady Acres

Send your father to Shady Acres

We’ll take good care of them — you won’t be aware of them

Send them to Shady Acres

Well, if one of them’s dead, don’t worry your head, 'cause we have a matchmaker

They can sit down and kvetch on the rest home steps while watching Green Acres

If you don’t want to visit, well, there’s no requisite

We have foster sons and daughters to help all our boarders stop feeling blue

Keep the checks coming and we won’t bother you

Send your mother to Shady Acres

Send your father to Shady Acres

We’ll take good care of them — you won’t be aware of them

Send them to Shady Acres

Our rooms are so peaceful.

They’ll die while they’re sleeping

Yes, right in their beds

Now there’s no need for worry.

We have our own mortuary

And a beautiful cemetery

Yes, we are good people.

We care for the feeble

We’ve devoted our lives to the husbands and wives

Who don’t want their fathers around to be bothered

So send them!

We’re respectable and tax deductible

Send your mother to Shady Acres

Send your father to Shady Acres

We’ll take good care of them

You won’t be aware of them

Send them to Shady Acres

The Freudian doctors they tell me — «Have no fear, it’s not your fault

«You're growing up bad 'cause your parents did you wrong»

And I blame it on my parents, and the teachers in the schools

'Til I remember once upon a time, they had parents too

I think of who’s to blame

And I bow my head in shame