Have You Got The Gumption? - Louis Jordan and his Tympany Five

Whenever sponge-nosed Pete

Met the cop on the beat

He was higher than a fly on a spray

Any day

When Pete knew he was booked

At the policeman he’d looked

And defending his virtue

You could hear him say

Have you got the gumption

To make the assumption

That I’m inebriated?

Have you got the gall

To say alcohol has gone to my wig?

I ain’t had a drink, sir

Since I made the clink, sir

The night I celebrated

At the garbage man’s ball

When we had that brawl

You remember, officer?

You may be the law

Still, there could be a flaw

In your calculations, old top

I got troubles enough

I ain’t even touchin' the stuff

Not even a wee *hic* little drop

Just draw with some chalk, sir

A line and I’ll walk, sir

Straighter than a judge man

Have you got the gumption

To make the assumption that I’m pinched?

Yes, you may be the law

Still, there could be a flaw

In your calculations, old top

I got troubles enough

I’m not even touchin' the stuff

Not even a wee *hic* little drop

Just draw with some chalk, sir

A line and I’ll walk, sir

Straighter than a judge man

Have you got the gumption

To make the assumption that I’m pinched?

You mean officer, you’re gonna put me in jail?

Don’t close that gate!

Let me take a walk, I’ll be straight

Hey officer!

Take these things off my arm

I ain’t gonna do nobody no harm

Oh, officer!

I know the captain of the priest said-

Don’t hit me with that blackjack

I ain’t comin' back

Oh ociffer!

If I’ve got to go

Let me take my horn

So I could be real darn

Oh ociffer, you’re doin' wrong, ociffer