The Obliteration of Flab Quarv 7 - Gwar

Y’know, back in outer space we used to drink — a lot

We used to take all kinds of kick-ass drugs

And showed blatant disrespect for any authority figures

Little did we know we were undermining our entire value system…

At that time I was serving in the Masters 3rd Scumdog Legion

aboard a planetary infection barge, attempting to obey a host of confusing orders, but mostly satisfying only our lust for

slaughter ravingly drunk half the time, I only realized a battle

had started when I heard the roar of the fleets plasma

bombardment.

Piling into

our armored assault pods we began our descent to the planets

pulverized surface.

We were met by a flight of primitive

interceptors which we devastated with soaring blast of nuclear

hatred, flashing through the debris cloud into the atmosphere

below.

The obliteration of Flab Quarv 7

On the horizon was the blazing outlines of a bombed city, the

outlying areas dotted with flaming craters and fleeing refuges

I vomited out the window and led our battalion on a blazing attack

on the non-combatants pulpifying their flesh in a rain of sulfuric

plasma burst.

The mass mutilation of a world ensued, with those

not being fit for slave labor being herded into gigantic flaming

pits.

We laughed as several thousand years of cultural development

were wiped out in a single blundering instant.

Gorged on guts, gouged out eyes

Captives fill the breeding hive

Desecrate their sovereign world

Bloated, bloody, drunken churl

Cultures crumble, races die

Stench of midgets fill the sky

Smashing skulls with ghastly crunch

Pretty soon we’ll break for lunch

Later, as we flew through deep space

Ritually disemboweling our victims

The navigator informed us that we Attacked the wrong planet.

Hehehehehahaha

The obliteration of Flab Quarv 7