Granny Farming in the UK - Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine

There’s twenty five tunes on the visitors bell

From Granny Farming In The UK

To Heartbreak Hotel

And there’s eight million stories of cruelty to tell

As the medicine goes down

There’s one currant bun in the baker’s shop

Who’s beaten like an egg till he bruises like an apricot

Squeezed between the legs and strangled with a football sock

And the medicine goes down

And it’s as clear as a bell and the colour of your cheeks

And the piss awful smell of the blankets and the sheets

This ain’t no charabanc, no Derby and Joan

And this place is no place like home

And the nurses will hold you and ask you how you feel

But it’s back to the dole queue for any of them who squeal

From Granny Farming In The UK to Heartbreak Hotel

There’s twenty five tunes on the visitors bell

No letters, no postcards, no whisky, no pets

No Derby and Joan club and no cigarettes

No day trips to the seaside, no nights on the town

No boiled beef and carrots and the medicine goes down

No handles on the windows, no lights on the stairs

It’s way past your bedtime and nobody cares

From Granny Farming In The UK to Heartbreak Hotel

There’s twenty five tunes on the visitors bell

And the post man rings twice with a telegram from the Queen

Your legs turn to red to amber and green

Your heart jumps the lights and you fall to the ground

And your death is the talk of the town