Penis Dimension - Frank Zappa, The Mothers

Penis dimension

Penis dimension

Penis dimension is worrying me

I can’t hardly sleep at night

'Cause of penis dimension

Do you worry?

Do you worry a lot?

No!

Do you worry?

Do you worry and moan.

..

That the size of your cock is not monstruous enough?

It’s your penis dimension!

Penis dimension!

Howard:

Wah ooo-wah ooo-wah ooo-wah

Wah ooo-wah ooo-wah ooo-wah

Mark: Hiya friends.

Now just be honest about it.

Did you ever consider the

possiblity that your penis, and in the case of many dignified ladies,

that the size of the titties themselves might provide elements of

sub-conscious tension?

Weird, twisted anxieties that could force a human being

to have to become a politician!

A policeman!

A jesuit monk

Howard?:

Mark: A rock and roll guitar player!

A wino!

You name it.

Or in the case of the

ladies, the ones that can’t afford a silicone BEEF-UP, may become writers of

hot books

Howard: «Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim.

Mark: Yes, or they become Carmelite nuns!

Howard: «Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his mutated member in her

slithering slit."Ha ha ha!

Mark: Ooh, or racehorse jockeys.

There is no reason why you, or your loved one

should suffer.

Things are bad enough, without the size of your organ adding

even more misery to the TROUBLES OF THE WORLD!

Howard: Right on, right on!

Mark: Now, if your a lady and you’ve got munchkin tits, you can console

yourself with this age-old line from primary school:

Mark & Howard: ANYTHING OVER A MOUTHFUL IS WASTED!

YES!

Mark: And isn’t it the truth?

And if you’re a guy, and one night you’re at a

party and you’re trying to be cool, I mean, you aren’t even wearing any

underwear, you’re being so cool, and somebody hits on you one night,

and he looks you up and down and he says, uh.

..

Howard: Eight inches or less?

Mark: Well let me tell you, brothers, that’s the time when you got to turn

around and look that sonofabitch right between the eyes, and you got to tell

him these words: