German Lunch - Frank Zappa

Uhh, may I see your papers pleez?

Uhhh, lemme see

Hand me your suitcase, let me.

.. open it

I’m just a bit nervous you understand

Open the suitcase

This hasn’t happened.

.. too often

Uh-huh, I see, how many.

.. sixty-two packages of cigarettes.

Why are you

carrying all zees into Germany for?

What are you doing this for?

I. .. I. .

How long have you been livin' in Berlin?

I don’t live in Berlin

Where do you live?

I live in Texas

Texas?

Texas

Oh I see, Lyndon Johnson lives in Texas too, does he not?

I know, Sure does

Ooh, hm this is alright

You mind.

.. Is it alright if I shut my suitcase off?

Shut it off???

Ha, ha ha ha

Do you care for one of these cigarettes?

Now, who’s this lady you are with?

What lady?

This lady here, standing next to you

Oh, this is uh, this is…

Has she has papers too?

PAPERS!

Lemme see your papers!

How come you have to yell so much, what did we do?

I don’t yell

Were just trying to get into the country

This is my country, it’s not your country, I’m?

here, I’ve been standing here

for years and years doing zis every time.

You making me very angry

Is this ze Fazerland

This is ze Fazerland yes

Listen you ought to check all the Mothers through customs.

Hey line up as soon

as you finished.

.

Are you through with me, sir?

You may step over here to the right

Thank you

My name is Fritz, open the suitcase please?

Just a moment here, just a moment

What is this there’s sixty two copies of Horseshit Magazine.

What are you

carrying Horseshit Magazine around for.

.

It’s a hoax, hold it, hold it here

What is this.

Right there!

Hold it hold it.

I’ll never forget you Fritz

Alright, next, you may close this now

Next whos up, uh, here he comes.

Who are you?

Hand me your paper

Here’s my papers

Your name is Duke?

What’s this Duke, Duke DeWild.

Have you seen many German

movies, you ever go to ze movies?

I never go to the movies

What is zis, you bring zees into Germany.

Zees are Japanese tools.

Why do you bring Japanese tools to Germany where we make the finest tools ever,

you, what are you doingk?

That’s 60 marks for you, oh my God, what’s the

matter with you?

(coughing)

Oh my God, please please not here.

Step.

.. .

Oh my God, what are you doingk.

Oh, who are you, what is your name, hand me your paper.

Is your name Larry?

Larry Frnoga?

Yes

Larry Frnoga?

Larry Frnoga

Oh my God, what are you doing, what are you doing zat for?

I’m beating the horse to make it go faster

That’s not a horse that’s a table

What’s the difference?

Ha, ha, ha

Don’t go too fast, does it, for a table

What is this?

Ohhh, zefrin, CL brand of ah nasal spray.

You have a cold?

How long have you had a cold?

About a year.

(about.)

You had a cold for a year, are you trying to bring a cold into zis country.

Oh my God don’t cough on me.

What is this medal say.

Sais Berlin survival

award 1968

That’s where I got my cold

You were here before in Berlin

That’s right

What, what were you doing in Berlin?

I gave a concert

You gave a concert in Berlin?

That’s right

To whom?

The German people

The German people

Yes

Don’t take the German people lightly, I say, who is this man here, is it Arthur,

Arthur Tripp

Arthur, Arthur

It’s a German name is it not?

English

Tripp?

Ja

Tripp?

Ja, JA?!

Ja, ja-ja…

Stop giggling, you’re having too much fun, you know we arrest people for having

to much fun here

I beg your pardon

When you come to someone elses country do you run around on the grass and make

it dirty everywhere you go?

No, I stick pretty close to the bars

You know you people all look… bars?

We have a lot of bars here

Ysure do.

Heh-heh, scuze me if I laugh

Don’t laugh

Alright I’ll do that

Who is this man here, the other man?

He’s our leader

He is your leader?

Ja

Wh-what is his function and how does he lead you?

He directs us by with signals various vocal noises

Vocal noises?

Vat are some of the noises?

Eh, peep

Peep?

Poowah

Pooowahhhhhh

I see you all are very well organised, we all like order in Germany you know.

You have such a pleasant smile, may I see your papers?

You see I don’t exactly have my papers with me I

You don’t have papers?

I may have left them in my other bag

He has no papers huh

He has no papers

I mean if there was something I could do for you

Do you have any identification

Identification, lemme see

It’s a nice watch you have on

Wa ist los?

It used to have a Mickey Mouse there, I…

I tell you what I’ll do

If if if you give me zat watch

Nein

That’s a very strange german accent

Ja ha ha ha

Are you sure.

.

Are you from Strabourg or was

He’s a russian spy, he’s a Russian I think

I think so

Get Him

Hands Up!

Oh God

What’s goin on?

You want an enema?

No I’ll take a cheeseburger

Why is the bow-tie goink from your neck

I’m practicing to fly

Why is everyone in this group having bow ties going from ze neck?

They’re all weird

Gimme your watch

I still don’t trust this guys accent

Who is this, who, who?

Come here, come over here.

Do you have a suitcase

We must watch this one

We must watch this one, right.

Let’s open the suitcase

My guitar wants to kill you mama

My guitar wants to burn your dad

I get real mean when he makes me mad

This is very good, this is very normal, German lyrics.

You’re all welcome to

our country

Ha ha ha

Don’t laugh