Catholic Girls - Frank Zappa

A festive cyo party with crepe paper streamers, contestants for the broom dance,

the «hokey pokey,"baked goods, &father riley making sure the lights dont go down too low…

Father riley and various party goers:

Catholic girls

With a tiny little mustache

Catholic girls

Do you know how they go?

Catholic girls

In the rectory basement

Father rileys a fairy

But it dont bother mary

Catholic girls

At the cyo

Catholic girls

Do you know how they go?

Catholic girls

There can be no replacement

How do they go, after the show?

Joe:

All the way

Thats the way they go Every day

And none of their mamas ever seem to know

Hip-hip-hooray

For all the class they show

Theres nothing like a catholic girl

At the cyo

When they learn to blow…

Father riley:

Theyre learning to blow

All the catholic boys!

Mary:

Warren cuccurullo…

Father riley:

Catholic boys!

Mary:

Kinda young, kinda wow!

Father riley:

Catholic boys!

Mary:

Vinnie colaiuta…

Where are they now?

Did they all take the vow?

Father riley:

Catholic girls

Warren:

Carmenita scarfone!

Father riley:

Catholic girls

Officer butzis:

Hey!

she gave me vd!

Father riley:

Catholic girls!

Warren:

Toni carbone!

With a tongue like a cow

She could make you go wow!

Joe:

Vd vowdy vootie

Right away

Thats the way they go Every day

Whenever their mamas take them to a show

Matinee

Pass the popcorn please

Theres nothing like a catholic girl

With her hand in the box

When shes on her knees

Larry:

She was on her knees,

My little catholic girl

In a little white dress

Catholic girls

They never confess

Catholic girls

I got one for a cousin

I love how they go So send me a dozen

Catholic girls

Ooooooh!

Catholic girls

Ooooooh!

(etc.)

Central scrutinizer:

This is the central scrutinizer…

Joe had a girl friend named mary.

She used to go the church club every week.

Theyd meet each other there

Hold hands

And think pure thoughts

But one night at the social club meeting

Mary didnt show up…

She was sucking cock backstage at the armory

In order to get a pass

To see some big rock group for free…