Auspicious Occasion - Frank Zappa, The Mothers Of Invention

FZ: Hello?

Welcome to Carnegie Hall, ladies and gentlemen.

I hate to ask you

this, but if you could just be patient for a couple of minutes while we tune up

the synthesizers it’ll sound better

Howard?: Ay!

FZ: It says, «Uncle Meat.»

Thank you for this.

Ready?

All right.

Contrary to the way we normally run our program— Can you put a little bit more

of my microphone on this monitor, please?—Wut-tut-tut.

.

Mark?: Talk, talk.

.

FZ: Hello.

One.

Ordinarily, when we start off a show, we start off with

something really zippy and snazzy so that you get right into it, you know?

Mark: Three Dog Night

FZ: Yeah.

But I think this evening, because this is such an auspicious

occasion—the desecration of Carnegie Hall itself—that we are actually going to

deviate from our format, ladies and gentlemen.

Now some of you might find this

a little bit too deviated.

However, the first selection that we are going to

perform is a new piece—it's receiving its New York premiere at this time,

and it’s uh.

.. You may think it’s shitty when you hear it.

What are you

clapping for now?

Well, but it’s nice to know you’re on our side

Audience: Yeah!

Howard?: Right on, brothers and sisters.

Woodstock

FZ: Just send those groovy vibes right on up here to the stage.

Just blow 'em

right on up here

Mark?: I’m eighteen

FZ: Now, listen.

.

Mark?: Larry Fischer

FZ: Up your own alley.

Hah, hah.

.

Mark?: Wild Man Fischer, ladies and gentlemen

FZ: The reason why some of you might find this a little bit too devious is

because it’s in German