I Don't Want To - Example

I spotted Miss World, too good to be true

But the club was pretty dark and I’d had quite a few

I stagger to her table sipping my brew

But just as I get there she goes to the loo

Impatient bastard, now what do I do?

Then I cop her friend and she’s alright too

Her arse in good shape, above average boat

I ask her name, she sticks her tongue down my throat

I’m not one to gloat or boast, but take note

Twenty minutes gone and she’s getting her coat

So I down my beer, my boys start to cheer (Hey!)

Grin across my face runs from ear to ear

She gives me the look, and I mean the look

Was it love at first sight man, or something she took?

(I don’t know)

A swagger in my step like a crook, then I think

The girl looks shook, she’s had too much to drink

I look at her eyeballs to see if they’re pink

But I don’t get a chance cause she gives me a wink

So I travel to hers in an illegal cab

Plus I know she’s a student, her house is drab

In my head I’m laughing,

Stereo’s playing some timeless Marvin

The lights dim down and the clothes come off

But I pass out, cause her pillow’s too soft

I don’t want (No no no no)

To be true (No no no no)

I don’t want

To make love to you

I’m up the next morning, but where the hell’s this?

I’m trapped in girly purple abyss

It’s proving costly, she took me hostage

First things first man, where’s the Frosties?

I slowly tiptoe towards the door

But she grabs my left arm like I’ve broken the law

Now who am I kidding, I ain’t her guest

But she playing like she got me under house arrest

She starts with a speech about how she’s feeling

I’m more intrigued by her lilac ceiling

Any time now there’s a question pending

She wants to confirm a romantic ending

Why do they charm you with hocus-pocus?

I gotta get home for the Football Focus

To dodge small talk I admit defeat

«Er, how are you for dinner love?

Tuesday week?»

As we waited at the bus stop she wanted a cab

But I made her see sense with the gift of the gab

A cab’s 20 quid, and that’s money for us

Plus it’s it’s one nugget each on the 220 bus

There’s one little issue that we gotta address

I got just enough cash for a Pizza Express

Even though she wants Thai chilli beef with mango

I’d be content with some wings from Nando’s

We get to Express, but before we can order

She starts with a tirade that I never call her

I say «I'm trying to keep my phone bills smaller»

Try and change the subject, «Have you got taller?»

«Don't give me that, that’s a load of tosh»

She says words like that, she’s a little bit posh

«Look, all I want, Ell, is a call at lunches»

As she keeps ranting, the waiter approaches

«Be honest, you want this to work or not?»

«Er, doughballs, please and an American Hot»

«I'm talking, geezer I want to know please»

«She'll have a Caesar with no anchovies

And two Peronis» he makes a note

I look back at her and she’s getting her coat

She heads for the door like a spoilt adult

More food for me, eh?

What a result