Toys - Dan Bull

Yo, yo, yo

…yo-yo

I knew I was a fully grown man, a true bloke

The moment I moved over to LEGO from DUPLO

I was beautifully naive, a little Rousseau

I didn’t follow instructions, to this day I rarely do so

It’s true, bro, back then I never had a Cluedo

That I was musical, I didn’t do sports, I was too slow

There was no sudoku, I did lots of crosswords

Wordsearches, Where’s Wally and dot to dots

No aerial in the TV, so there wasn’t a lot to watch

My parents played with me, in a way to please Doctor Spock

To my mom and my dad I’m honoured to have, I want to just thank you

With your support I’m rolling on top of the track like Thomas the Tank do

Man I love my toys

From action figures to puzzles, cards, stickers and games

Man I love my toys

If I hadn’t played, my imagination wouldn’t be the same

Before I could pour liquor, or buy cigarettes in a shop

I had football stickers in a nice little deck that I swapped

Collecting the Pogs and I had loads of Tazos

No notion it was only a passing fad though

Nothing could distract me from the task in hand

Racking all my little cars up into one massive traffic jam

I wasn’t a massive fan of Action Man

That lacked the tactics Dan was after

Tasks with grand strategy and a battle plan

See the scene, a sea of green plastic army men

Amassed on a carpet desert, the three piece suite was sweeping scenery

No need to make a Tracy Island, I had one in the first place

And that was F.A.B

A fucking awesome birthday!

Man I love my toys

From action figures to puzzles, cards, stickers and games

Man I love my toys

If I hadn’t played my imagination wouldn’t be the same

I’m in a stupid mood, the rudest dude

My language is that colourful, I twist it like a Rubik’s Cube

I made a bandana from my dad’s tie, I think was purple

Can’t recall the name of that specific Ninja Turtle

Me, I’m on that line of Brio kinda steelo

I roll it out then bring it sliding right back just like a Whee-lo

I write these raps to open up your mind like Mighty Max

Stacking rhymes like Jenga bricks until you hear a mighty crash

Flows crush you like the Stay Puft from Ghostbusters

As I transform a simple sentence into one of those punches

Some kids had a Happy Meal for most lunches

Let’s just say they won’t be in Olympic host countries

Man I love my toys

From action figures to puzzles, cards, stickers and games

Man I love my toys

If I hadn’t played my imagination wouldn’t be the same

I had a Golliwog, to which I was a bit hostile

The way I played could make behaviourists watchful

Maybe I’m racist, don’t what I got so pissed off for

Regarding races, racing cars, I had a big boxful

I used to burn them over candles with Chris Cottrill

And once I got a LEGO cannonball stuck in my nostril

I love cyber pets of either sex, my Tamagotchi

Got treated, spoilt and overfed, he was hella podgy

Felt godly, I was the one to whom AI would look up

But I couldn’t get my Furby to shut the fuck up

Kids, advertisers sell you shit they cook up

If you want a nostalgic trip, hit me up, I’ve got the hook up

I’ve got He-Man and She-Ra, I’ve got Trolls

They’re called poseable action figurines, not dolls

It’s a shame that toys are frowned upon for adults cause there’s

Nothing much for us except the rubber stuff at Ann Summers

Man I love my toys

From action figures to puzzles, cards, stickers and games

Man I love my toys

If I hadn’t played my imagination wouldn’t be the same

Man I love my toys

I’m just playing!

Just toying with you

I was really jealous of my friend at… at first school, 'cause he had this

Beetlejuice toy

And it was… it was a coffin, or something

And you put… put a little model of Beetlejuice inside

Closed it and opened it and he was gone!

Missing!

Black magic

I wanted that shit so bad