The Bestiary - Dan Bull

I’m Geralt of Rivia

Could I be pithier

While ripping through the fibulas and tibias of idiots?

There isn’t a living thing I couldn’t kill at all

Kill them all with a silver sword

No wonder Vizima built that wall

Whether Golem, Vodnick, Godling, Foglet, Doppler, Cockatrice, Dog, or Botchling

Warg or Chort or Forktail

You all fail

Ghouls and wolves

I pull a Werewolf by his tail

Drown the Devil by the Well

Burn the Dragon of Fyresdal

Wild white wolves and Wyverns fight Cyclops and Sirens

Nightwraiths, Hybrids and Hyms and Ice Giants

Seems these beasts are very keen to be seen in the bestiary

Venomous, more than a bee sting

Know what I mean Emreis?

Half swordplay

Slay my way through the bestiary

Half wordplay

Phrases painting your obituary

Half swordplay

Slay my way through the bestiary

Half wordplay

Phrases painting your obituary

For monsters I use a steel will and silver sword, done

And for man I use a steel sword and a silver tongue

I’m built hard to deal with Nilfgaard

I’m real scarred

And I will kill even when I spar with guards

But it’s the children of the wilderness I’m skilled with killing

When I’m not chilling

Getting my fill of different women

Well, I have it out with Alghouls and Howlers

Gargoyles and Drowners

Nithral, Trolls, Hounds, D’ao, Salma, Devourers

Lamias, Harpies, Sarastis and Rotfiends and Ogres and Crones

Hurting Kernun, Beserkers, Shriekers, Beasts and Ghosts

Nekker, Necrophage, Specter, Pesta, Pest or Penitent

Relict, Imp, Bear or Djinn, Therazane or Eredin

Elementa, Leshen, Endregas and Ekimmaras

While I meditate and wait, you’ll never see tomorrow

Plague Maidens and Wraiths, Graveirs, and Grave Hags

Cave Trolls, White Ladies and Wham-A-Whams

Water Hag, Morvuud, Tangleores and Ekhidnas

Pull apart Mourntarts, Shriekers, Fiends and Mucknixers

Imlerith, Ifrits, Spirits, and Speartips and Griffins

From Katakan to Basilisk and frickin' itchy Midges

Imagine Guybrush Threepwood meets Clint Eastwood

I wish a beast would

It’d be ploughing reet good

Half swordplay

Slay my way through the bestiary

Half wordplay

Phrases painting your obituary

Half swordplay

Slay my way through the bestiary

Half wordplay

Phrases painting your obituary

For monsters I use a steel will and silver sword, done

And for man I use a steel sword and a silver tongue