The Bard's Secret - Dan Bull

Well met, stranger

Elated to make your acquaintance

Now, may I entertain you with some «ations over cadence?

You see, I bear some rare, amazing information

And you look like someone who is used to strange situations

There is a hidden portal within the Bard’s College

I was brought through, an immortal to impart knowledge

About an other-wordly form of Redguard sonnet

They took a thumping drum beat and said bars on it

I wandered through Solitude, departed Haafingar

Past Hjaalmarch, through The Reach, east of Markarth

I reached the Whiterun Hold

I preached in rhyme and told the people

That the need to speak was higher than the price of gold

Nothing can beat soul, not even sweet rolls

I’ve got it locked like a pick stuck in a keyhole

I leave you wee trolls wishing that you’d re-rolled

By the Nine Divines, my rhyme’s a sight to behold

My freeholds are threefold

I rock the property chain

'Cause I’m the top bloody Thane in this Monopoly game

So you’d better watch the throne, Stormcloak

'Cause you’re getting overthrown by an ordinary bloke

It’s high time Skyrim had a new High King

And I like hiking — it’s quite exciting:)

I’m descended from the Vikings back in my kingdom

But my lyric writing’s better than my skill at fighting

My pen is mightier than swords;

it’s the right choice

They call me «MF Thu’um"when I use my Voice

With each rap, my Speechcraft keeps stacking

If you could see the graph, you’d actually be laughing

You’ll never sound as fresh, I’m a rockstar

I climb the seven thousand steps to High Hrothgar

Like Jurgen Windcaller, my words’ll bring more disorder

Than mixing Skooma in an Orcish brigand’s drink order

A bawdy bard that raps, my Voice’ll cause your cart to crash

Your horse’s armor cracks under the awesome force of Paarthurnax

But here’s the secret I needed to tell:

You can be an MC with me aswell

Forget the Blades, me and you don’t need the Greybeards

Who are Mehrunes Dagon and the Daedra to an atheist?

Mages, take your Spell Tome and go the hell home

'Cause who needs boots of speed when we’ve got shell toes?

And, so whether you drink Honeymead or Alto

Be sure that Dan’ll smelt flows 'til all of Tamriel knows

You should use the bars of the bard deep inside you

And 'til we meet again, friend: Talos guide you

Talos guide you