Sacred Sword Princesses - Dan Bull

This is the story

Of how I ended up making this song

The other afternoon at about half past two

I got an inquiry from some company Nutaku

About a game they had, perhaps I’d like to rap for it

It’s all straight forward, but there may be one small asterisk

Namely, it was aimed at adults and thus was vaguely explicit

But come on, that isn’t really enough to dissuade me, is it?

Then I saw the trailer of this thing, looked like a risky click

Which made me turn it down but turned around just like a misty flip

Sitting, considering sticking my chip into the mystery dip

Then thinking, «heck, I need the content and it could be sick»

It could be funny, so I run them up and said, «yeah, kiss me quick»

And now I’m writing this while sipping whiskey, this is pretty slick

So if you’ll allow us, then I’ll use my vocal talents

To make this overwhelming adult game look so composed and balanced

Like the flows and raps I’m using to promote this gash

Who else could berate a game in exchange for loads of cash?

You are the wielder of the sacred sword

Saving buxom maidens from the taint of war

You are the wielder of the sacred sword

It’s a serious game, we are not making porn (it's art)

Welcome to the land of Midgardia

Full of women and you’re the head guardian

None of the are nanas that have knit cardigans

So man, it’s like a neckbeard kid’s Narnia

Hit harder than the thing in your palm

When you’re thinking your mom isn’t in, bring it on

Still can’t believe that I’m singing this song

But I’m so far deep in that it’d be wrong

To pull out now, if your wife finds you playing

Then tonight you’ll be laying on a pull-out couch

Look out (ow), weapons are aimed

Where’s the line between pleasure and pain?

When you find it things are never the same

Like treading on the tail of a venomous snake

Like every line I’m fed up of saying

I need something new to get up again

Something unfamiliar, get ahead of the game

I’m done with vanilla, I’m ready for change

Ready for mods, ready for patches

Ready to level up and get a bit batshit

Get a bit impassioned, I’m built for it

The weapon is fashioned, hilt to tip

From my flesh and blood, not rock or metal, but I’m getting wood

You are the wielder of the sacred sword

Saving buxom maidens from the taint of war

You are the wielder of the sacred sword

It’s a serious game, we are not making porn (it's art)

This game is clearly indicative of the male gaze

But that is not to say this isn’t for male gays

Or female gays or straights or those across the spectrum

Whether willy, vag or rectum, I totally respect them

My mind is open like I poked it with a speculum

I’m learning from the school of life 'till I know the curriculum

I’m into isometric gaming and I like electric ladyland

And this combines the racy bits of each one to make me stand

To attention, fuel the engine, overheating

I need to reduce the tension

There’s a few women who I’d mention

But I won’t 'cause I don’t want to offend them

I’m not aiming to start wars, but ay, this game is hardcore

It could be what my YouTube channel got a black mark for

You are the wielder of the sacred sword

Saving buxom maidens from the taint of war

You are the wielder of the sacred sword

It’s a serious game, we are not making porn (it's art)

In case you didn’t get it, «sacred sword» is a metaphor for a willy

Yes, a willy

This game is all about your willy