Diablo 3 - Dan Bull

I’m the author of the lore for this dark place

I understand you’re a guy on a mission

But if you could just give a min, stay a while and listen

Because again the land of Sanctuary’s fucked

By the forces of darkness, Thank you very much

And I suppose I’m responsible for dealing with this

Demon epidemiological chronicle of a diabolical oracle, it’s horrible

When your chance of living is thinner than a hair follicle

Smaller than a molecule.

Hell is more than metaphorical

It’s down under the town in the cracks, underground like my raps

Now let me tell you the facts

You’ll need these to get yourself through the acts

So ensure your ears are clear and sound gets through the wax

I come in one of five flavours at once:

If you need speed then you’ll favour the Monk

The Wizard is a mage, the Demon Hunter’s ranged

The Barbarian is in a rage at the front

The Witch Doctor is the main name for shamanism

Today’s the day you make the fate-changing decision

Make haste into the prison of the Dark Lords

Who start wars with us, they’ll see we’re hardcore

If you’re struggling with Azmodan, just

Tap my number in and ask for Dan, cause

In that conundrum I am the man

To leave a demon heaving, gasping

Like it’s asthma, damn, cuz

I got the master plan

I GOT THE MASTER PLAN

I take my scrap to be crafted by an Artisan

The improvement of loot is essential

With the exception of my weapon — the pencil

Tearing apart skeletal archers like parchment

Giving your heart a myocardial infarction

You’ll beg my pardon if I look like an old gnome

But I’ve written whole tomes on the Soulstones

So lyrically I’m lethal, all I need is beats

And my speech to defeat the Prime Evil

We will succeed cause I’m a wizard

And I run this game like Blizzard (huh-ha)