Dear Miley - Dan Bull

Dear Miley

My name’s Daniel (Hi)

I’ve never really been a big fan of yours

I’m a musician too, amateur

But anyway, let me tell you what I am here for

You want to take a hammer to Hannah Montana

And vanish her

That is a plan I would have as your manager

But the manner that you’re handling

It’s going to damage you

Never underestimate the power of the camera

Miley, you’ve got nothing to prove

But you’re behaving in a way

That says you’ve nothing to lose

I said, Miley, you’ve got nothing to prove

But you’re behaving in a way

That says you’ve nothing to lose

Miley, you’ve got nothing to prove

But you’re behaving in a way

That says you’ve nothing to lose

Yeah, I know girls just want to have fun

But Cyndi Lauper never flaunted her bum much

See, you’re in a funny position

Every time you speak, young girls listen

They want to be like you, different

So they copy your moves and lose innocence

I tried twerking, it wasn’t working

My balls kept slapping my thighs and it was hurting

There are blurred lines between empowerment

And the first time people seeing down the front of your dress

Not to mention the rest

Sometimes being censored is best

This is just a guess, but I’m sensing there’s stress

You’re either a diva or sensitive mess

Miley, you’ve got nothing to prove

But you’re behaving in a way

That says you’ve nothing to lose

Miley, you’ve got nothing to prove

But you’re behaving in a way

That says you’ve nothing to lose

My God, have you heard what she’s done?

(What now?)

I don’t know, but I bet her tongue popped out

One day when the cheeks of your bum drop down

You’ll have nothing left but your lungs and a hot sound

Right now, you’ve got pop locked down

But come middle age, you’ll be washed out

I don’t want to hear you’ve lost out for some quick dollars

The way the industry’s treating people, it’s bollocks

I see the wrecking ball as a metaphor

For what could happen to you during the menopause

When applause dies out, there is then a pause

And then you wonder what you acted like a lemon for

Sinéad O’Connor

She ain’t your momma

But she doesn’t deserve to have the piss taken of her, no

See me, I’m really pretty good with words, but

I managed this without ripping my shirt off

I’ve tried a few stunts, but not this

How seriously can you take me when I’m topless?

Mmm, yeah I like it

I’m better at music now

How else could I act for additional hits?

I could hold up a cat while I jiggle my tits

Look at my boobies, look at my boobies

You’ll see a heart

If you look straight through these

This isn’t the movies or Looney Tunes

We are stuck with decision that we choose in our youth, see

Look at me, man, I’m standing in my pants

Don’t I look silly when I’m doing this dance?

And I pull a face as if I’m pooing my pants

I want a long-term career, but I’ve ruined the chance

Miley, you’ve got nothing to prove

But you’re behaving in a way

That says you’ve nothing to lose

Of course, you’re under no obligation

To pay any attention to those observations

But living a life with no moderation

Will lead to a load of complications