Dear Auntie - Dan Bull

Don’t take away our radio

We need a place, a place to go

Where we can play our favourite shows

Don’t take away our radio

When I first heard the word about BBC 6

I thought, «this is absurd, is the BBC sick?»

It rocked the airwaves enough to keep me seasick

But it’s the first to get sunk — can we believe it?

And I thought pirates were meant to be the problem

But obviously not 'cause your lot’s already got some

Doctor, doctor, what’s your option?

What are you going to drop from the roster to cost cut?

The Asian Network plays the best work

Of a strain of the nation that strains to get heard

And now you’re severing the nerves of a massive demographic

It’s not a very clever tactic, is it?

The last bastions of unsigned action

Independents depend on it for traction

Ask Lamacq or Bobby Friction for his reaction

My prediction isn’t one of satisfaction

Do the maths, it’s a simple subtraction

Take away the stations and you chase away the talent

Listening figures isn’t your biggest purpose

It’s first and foremost to provide public service

I’m not saying other stations are worthless

But adverts are adverse and make me nervous

We deserve to have a say in what we’d like to see

I mean after all, we pay the licence fee

Don’t take away our favourite shows

Don’t take away our radio

Don’t take away our favourite shows

Don’t take away our radio

You need to appeal to the people that feel John Peel

And want to keep it real

So please, pretty Beeb, we appeal for a new deal

We’d be pleased if the spiel was repealed

D.B.

sees what’s needed to escape from the danger zone

More DAB radios in the nation’s homes

The audience is there, they just need connecting

In the same way your arrangement needs correcting

Next thing on the list that’s vexing

Bloody everybody is you spending money like it’s never ending

Even a yellow bellied Teletubby could tell us

It’s crazy, Laa-Laa;

Lady Gaga

Pay me half of what you pay to Clarkson

I’ll be laughing like I can’t keep a straight face, straight up

If there’s a budgetary deficit to make up

Then wake up and give Big Jeremy a pay cut

Don’t take away our favourite shows

Don’t take away our radio

Don’t take away our favourite shows

Don’t take away our radio

There’s enough talent out here for like forty channels

But we only get to hear the top forty sellers

You’re running it like Basil does to Fawlty Towers

Literally — ask Andrew Sachs, he could talk for hours

About how he was pushed about as Manuel

Then Johnny Ross and Russell Brand did it as well

Man, Johnny Rotten wouldn’t slag the living hell

Out of an old man’s grandkid on his cell

Well, if Russell Brand and the six million dollar man are the cream of the crop

then you can hang the DJ

Radio 1 — sweet for teenagers

Radio 2 — great if you’re really ancient

Radio 3 — for those of a refined taste

Radio 4 — all talking and giant brains

Radio 5 — only sport fans are tuned in

Radio 6 — it’s the music we’re losing

Don’t take away our radio

We will complain until you know

It’s a mistake — I’m afraid so

Don’t take away our radio