Bullshot - Dan Bull

According to a recent tweet by Iggy Azalea

«Diss songs shouldn’t be filled with

Celebrity name drops to pad out lazy bars»

I beg to differ

Rihanna never hit me in a text, I take that as disrespect

So now I’m gonna diss this set of celebs, just for the Swift effect

Don’t care whether it’s correct

This is the internet, we’re here to misdirect

So don’t get offended, it’s just pretend

And I’m dissing them, just to hit the trend

Ripping Eminem’s latest song, it’d be thick to spend a cent on

Iggy Azalea, real name is Kelly, so maybe you’re jelly

That Machine Gun’s taking the credit, your space on radio and telly

You’ve changed, Katy Perry

Used to be irritating but lately you’re very

Whereas me, I’m the same as I was as a teenager

But with a way bigger belly

Oh, by the way, got a tip for J. Cole, just shut your cake hole

Oh, hey, Dolan Dark, these aren’t memes, they’re stolen art

You need to see a doctor, Grandayy

Grab that needle, cold and sharp

Stick it in Logan’s heart, before the rematch show can start

He’s overdosing on his own ego

We need Maxmoefoe so he can barf

At my birthday, someone put on Paul McCartney

I said «Fuh You, don’t spoil my party»

No one wants anymore of the Carters

We only want Jay-Z or Beyoncé

I can’t say anything about Ariana Grande

Without making a tear drop

Andrew Huang makes music out of anything

Why not make it out of earshot?

Career got as big as Big Narstie

Now it’s shrinking in size, Melissa McCarthy

I’m Dana Carvey, trying to re-create the fame of Garth

Dick Ayoade, you’re not Moss

And Minecraft’s something that you’ll never top, Notch

Beat the devil out of Bob Ross

Make him run out of red, blood loss

Does anybody watch Smosh or did they swap for Vanoss?

Gosh

But guess what?

Whatever it was, I bet it’s not Jesse Cox

Went to the docks and I searched the whole harbour

Still couldn’t dredge anything up as low as Nicole Arbour

Not even me when I’m dissing my own father

Or asking, «Where's your certificate, Obama?»

Oh, MC Lars, your tracks are like town on a Wednesday

Empty bars

Damn, I’m begging you, Kendrick Lamar, don’t smoke

Your flow’s full of phlegm and catarrh

I bent my guitar trying to play like Brian May

I should make him send me the cost

But he might not pay off, like calling iDubbbz gay

Hey, didn’t anybody tell J Cyrus how stale Vine is

You’re past your sell date, RiceGum

Tyler, the Creator, a tireless creator of shiteness

Tried to get the Fine Brothers feat on a track

The cheek, they didn’t even react

Don’t know where to start with JackSepticEye

There’s too much for this track to rectify

That’s the beauty, I don’t have to specify

Cover my tracks, I misdirect and lie

Jonathan Pie, a collar and tie, won’t hide your bile

So curl up and die

Why do you even try?

Should leave and cry like Stephen Fry

Jeez, I sound like Pyrocynical, the kind of guy that find it difficult

To say anything nice, he’s like the pinnacle of edgy teens

Trying to rebel

It’s nigh on as bad as ImAllexx and I simply don’t like Callux

Markiplier?

Bollocks, you can write that in italics

Casey Neistat is compensating too hard for his lazy life status

Making millions saying inane opinions

I’m hating Maisie Williams in the same way you’re hating Minions

It’s a silly thin, but I really think Lilly Singh shouldn’t really sing

Jimmy Kimmel, get off my homepage

And lemme see more Limmy’s Show

Lately, there’s way too much Amy Schumer

Can’t get rid of her, baby boomer

Had enough of that zany humour

I want her gone now, maybe sooner

JT Music, were you ashamed of your Machinima name

Or did you lose it?

Catch up, we’re not living in a kingly age

Yeah, I’m looking at you, Lindybeige

Won’t see me in the club, there’s a reason, ayy

I dance like Theresa May

Recently, I’ve been forcing rhymes, Eminem does it all the time

Now Shady’s forty-five, anyone still check Shade 45?

By the way, Oliver Age 24, you’re not twenty-four anymore

Just go away, Wroetoshaw and on the way out, close the door

Gameboy Jones should call it quits

I don’t know what you’re posting for

No one’s coming for your show, Paul Joseph Watson

There’s no conspiracy, no one’s watching

They just chose an option with no bloke who’s foaming, frothing?

Rode a Salford bus for several stops, just to slag Gary Neville off

Now that Rap Devil dropped, I can attack Kwebbelkop

Travis Scott, I’ve got goosebumps

When I burned the booth of Charlie Sloth

Shefali Oza, weather?

He hardly knows her

Give it up, Stylosa, nobody’s watching your show, it’s all over

Like Alex Jones looking at trans phallic zones on his phone

Though he sprays transphobic rage, he loves dick, Bonecage

Dragging brains back to the stone age

Let’s locate Post Malone’s cage

Hey, ProZD looks just like an emoji, see?

Give him the stink eye, I miss Pink Guy, how slow could Joji be?

An eager beaver, these people are

Needless as Jessica Nigri’s DD procedure

Don’t need to hear Justin Bieber, Wiz Khalifa or Nigahiga either

I’m recalling Ethan and Hila, getting all in Jordan Peterson’s wiener

Breath reeks of lobster now, better brush your teeth

Call Lady Leshurr

Peter Dinklage need elocution lessons for better speaking english

Hey, Peter Serafinowicz, look around

Your second season’s really shit

I blame Graham Lineham personally

Says TERF is a slur but will curse at adversaries

Doubt?

Read all about it, where on earth is Professor Green now?

Emma Blackery ain’t exactly singing masterly

New songs sound made in a factory and that’s flattery

Music quality descending rapidly

Now lemme give Roomie a tip, try improving your tuning a bit

Like the surgery Boogie has picked, it’s just a band;

Scroobius Pip

Hope nobody’ll wanna sue me for this

Chris Brown already had too many hits

How many people can I humanly diss

And how many of 'em will see the humour in this?

6ix9ine's too busy grooming the kids, is he guilty?

Yeah, I’m assuming he is

Chris Pine’s no brilliant actor, William Shatner’s really a bastard

Dizzee Rascal’s as good at music as

Gizzy Gazza’s as good at movies

Richard Branson sniffs his pants and Arin Hanson

That man ain’t handsome

Jim Chapman, might as well dress in drag or a bin bag

Fuck Big Stig and Syntax, fuck Strippin and Sjin, twats

I don’t donate to Philip DeFranco

Patreon hidden, it’s fillin' his bank tho

I don’t hate him

I’m just jealous of him making dollars out of all you fellows

I make Jacob Rees-Mogg swap place

With Snoop Dogg and do drugs

With Joe Sugg and PewDie’s pugs, Ozuna’s music truly sucks

I truly hope Armando Iannucci’s movies tank

Coochie coo

Lil Pump don’t wanna know what I’d do to your gucci gang

Donald Trump, what can I say that hasn’t been said?

I’m all stumped

Like when I’m watching Watsky ruin his career, what’s he doing?

I’m obviously too envious of Stupendium to be friends with him

FRANKIEonPC 1080p's outdated, get a new pentium

I’m heavily scorning Jeremy Corbyn

Anarchy’s a better remedy for him

Could Ellen be more fawning?

Forget Stormzy, gimme a storm warning

I’m going all in, Jake Paul is appalling, Jay Foreman is boring

James Corden, according to me, is a great big ball of just boring

I’ll call in and diss my Discord server

'Til Brit’s a bit more subservient

Brit, you’re my servant, Nick, Jordan, all of you are boring burdens

I’m an insult-hurling Birmingham boy, pure vermin

Slow burning, Bo Burnham

And pointing out that Hola Soy isn’t so German

Do I rate Elro?

Hell no, potientally wish him well though

Can’t take it, but I dish it out, tell Ricky Berwick to lick his elbow

Dude Perfect, you’re as perfect as superfluous feuds;

worthless

Never worked out what your true purpose is

Useless as Keem as a news journalist

Fuck anybody who’s heard my diss

Including you, you’re deserving this

Put the word out quick

NerdOut ripped me off, I’m not sore about it

'Cause they’re the new kid on the block and I used to be hot, now I’m not like

a burnt out whip

Miracle of Sound, you’re really dumbing down

I can already predict your single coming out

I’d give Aaron Fraser-Nash a razor gash

You’re a clown, FabvL, chap, sit down

Shit, wow, look at Daddyphatsnaps' cruddy track

That’s bloody crap, that

But still, I might pirate it, like I’m on a pirate ship, flying a black flag

Oi, Henry Rollins, you’re a punk Phil Collins

Fuck Peter Hollens and Jack Frags

Action Bronson’s rappin' nonsense, Elon Musk’s an actual nonce

He interrupted Andy Milonakis' stream

And tried to touch his johnson

My stream of consciousness constantly leaking consonants

Upon the beat, incontinent concerts in three different continents

Concertinaed concepts, don’t leave a comment

I won’t read your correspondence

I’m more bothered reading Boris Johnson’s bollocks columns

Cheated on his wife and he lost the ring

So you can’t blame the hobbits, Gollum

Alex Wassabi, I’m sorry that you are not with Lauren

Sid Vicious, gone but not forgotten, unlike Johnny Rotten

I’m not fond of Benedenedict Cucumberuphisbottom

Plus, it’s not often Hopsin drops something I bother watching

If I’ve got the option, I would rather watch Matt Hoss or nothing

Make a schedule, Boyinaband

Stop going away and annoying the fans

But Faze Banks, stay away, thanks

I’m sure when you talk it’s great bants

Nah, you’re as awkward as a Ricky Gervais dance

So I’m already making escape plans

Hmm, I wonder whether Drake wanks

Then shakes hands with underage fans

I’ll sponsor Colin Kaepernick, just to piss off the racist pricks

I’ll take a shit and rub their face in it, then make them pay for it

Fuck David Shrigley, JME, fuck Daniel Craig, Xzibit

And absolutely fuck that Microsoft Word paperclip

I hate myself

I’m just playing, all of you fore-mentioned people

You know I love you