British Teeth - Dan Bull

I’m flossing

Open wide

You may feel a small amount of discomfort

As I sink my teeth, into this issue

Fucking let’s go!

Oi.

I was a jolly good child

But never had a Hollywood smile

I probably should be bothered but I’m not

'Cause my gob is just part of my ebullient style

Charmingly funny and vile

Like Stan, Cartman, Kenny and Kyle

Met a woman, it was good for a while

Then I grinned and had her running a mile

Ugh… look at all that spit

I’ve got a mouth like a Sarlacc Pit

I look a bit like I was kicked to the kerb

And my teeth took it worse than the Tarmac I bit

I’m a little bit Ricky Gervais

If he was hit with a brick in the face

Dirty cunt

Perverted version of Kirsten Dunst

But worse in person 'cause of a certain oniony pungence

Line up girls, who’s first in front?

Got a tongue like a Persian rug

Fuck mouthwash, pass the detergent *glug*

This is urgent look, get a surgeon booked

Who can work with the curtains shut

Too squeamish to floss, bleeding is gross

So please just leave me to rot

'Cause believe it or not

I really am reasonably pleased with the teeth that I’ve got

Don’t give a fuck whether you’re a fan of mine

Stop… Arm &Hammer time

You’re jelly of my British teeth

I’m a vicious beast

If you do not like my music

Then it’s obvious that you are just too jelly of my British teeth

I’m a vicious beast, I’m a vicious beast

I’m a vicious beast, I’m a vicious beast with British teeth

Got them whitened, I might get them straightened

But I kind of like to frighten the states with them

And would Amy Winehouse

Have sounded the same without the wide mouth?

And the same applies to Shane MacGowan

John Lydon, Clint Howard

Think «Lemmy meets Steve Buscemi»

I can already see your semi

See you’re jelly of my British teeth aplenty

See your envy

I’m the MVP of dentistry on the NHS

My teeth are sexy

I bring the Aquafreshest raps

Grinning like a Cheshire Cat

Fuck your feckless standards of beauty

You can shut your precious mouth

My dentist was the gentlest

She never did a thing that was senseless

She sensibly selected medical consensus over aesthetic pretenses

Regarding hygiene my teeth are quite clean

But far from the whitest I’ve seen

They used to be white, now they’re yellowing

Maturing like Cheddar and mellowing

Developing into better things

They’re getting ever more menacing

Snapping like a terrapin

When I’m dead, I’ll be outlived by my skeleton

You’re just jelly of my British teeth

I’m a vicious beast

If you do not like my music

Then it’s obvious that you are just too jelly of my British teeth

I’m a vicious beast, I’m a vicious beast

I’m a vicious beast, I’m a vicious beast with British teeth