December - Bugzy Malone

24 hours in the same place

Told 'em I need me a vaca'

I never get 'round to the vaca'

Bank statements making me lazy

Every day payday

I stopped eating meat in '18 still I got a full plate

Ya never know when a beef can go off

I didn’t wanna show off but when you’re the first in

I need their hearts to beat when they see me in person

How is it a 50/50 if I need reimbursing?

They can’t drink from my table if they’re not putting the work in

She was at home in bed, I’m busy flirting

Weekends, I’ve got the weekdays merging, I swear

I’m just tryna keep waves in my hair, I

Wanna make 'em record or hold their torch in the air, why?

'Cause I feel alive when it all lights up

Let my enemies know that I don’t give a fuck

When I swore to myself that I’d never look down when I first climbed

I’ve done well for an ex gang member

And I’ve done bits and bobs

Just like what Montana done to Rebenga

I’m one of the last ones standing

Everyone’s dead or in jail now

And I’ve got trauma that creeps up on me

That I try not to remember

I was born in December, five days before Christmas day

Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past

Didn’t wanna blind him so I kept my wrist tilted this way

I’m not afraid to drop to my knees and pray

'Cause I never thought that I’d overcome this pain

I was born in December, five days before Christmas day

Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past

Didn’t wanna blind him so I kept my wrist tilted this way

I’m not afraid to drop to my knees and pray

'Cause I never thought that I’d overcome this pain

Yo

I’ve been studying psychology

'Cause I didn’t wanna go see a psychiatrist

Thank God she accepted my apology

'Cause I don’t even think I could do none of this

From day one, she proven herself

Back when I couldn’t get shoes off the shelf

Back when I couldn’t even get into the club

Didn’t pop bottles, never have Louis on my belt

I’m ready to make a commitment

I’ve got trainers coming on a shipment

I’ve got an M in one account and an M that I put into the crib, are you

listening?

Me and these rappers are different 'cause most of these rappers chat fiction

Me, I’m just telling a story, the type that will go down in history

This is December I told 'em I needed a choir

Plus I’m thinking out loud so I’m gonna need quiet

I hope that I made 'em proud but I bet they deny it

I been practicing patience, let me apply it

I haven’t been posting, I’ve not been replying

There’s a lot of moving parts so I needed some time

I already believe, I don’t need a sign

I already know the reason I shine

Was looking for symptoms online

Emotional instability, impulsive behaviour

Rage, sorrow, borderline personality

It’s a disorder but it’s important

'Cause without that I just blend in

I’m just brave enough to say it out loud, I’m not unpretending

When I was on road, they say I was mad

And that was cuckoo, he had to be bad

Now that I’m famous, I’ve had to change the way that I think

And the way that I act

Emotionally switched off, I’m only just fixing it now

I’ve gotta thank my girl for sticking around and holding me up

'Cause I coulda drowned and never again will I let her down

Responsibility comes with a crown and that’s why I always frown

It was my job to build a bridge all the way from the North over to the South

And when they take shots I watch it bounce off my body armour

I’m Marcus Aurelius, Julius Caesar, used to suffer with sieges

I guess everyone’s vulnerable, it’s what you do with the struggle though

Can’t believe I’ve got trainers in JD but I used to be criminal

29 years in December but this one is a miracle

I’ve done well for an ex gang member

And I’ve done bits and bobs

Just like what Montana done to Rebenga

I’m one of the last ones standing

Everyone’s dead or in jail now

And I’ve got trauma that creeps up on me

That I try not to remember

I was born in December, five days before Christmas day

Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past

Didn’t wanna blind him so I kept my wrist tilted this way

I’m not afraid to drop to my knees and pray

'Cause I never thought that I’d overcome this pain

I was born in December, five days before Christmas day

Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past

Didn’t wanna blind him so I kept my wrist tilted this way

I’m not afraid to drop to my knees and pray

'Cause I never thought that I’d overcome this pain