Rain Water - Brother Ali

A question was raised to me the other day

«Why it seem I always have joy?»

Well, I’d like to take time to set the record straight.

All the joy I’ve ever known

Has disappeared

— into motherfuckin' thin air

Like it’s never even been there

My joy left me y’all

God’s rain water flow through the same gutter

That we, walk today, gotta stay brave brother

Keep your lips stiff, keep your fist clenched

At times you gotta kick your way through this bitch

And I can’t stop feelin' guilty smilin'

A wise man once told me that every cloud has a silver lining

I wanted to believe him but it’s a trick to find 'em

When the people around me continue dying

Granddad was in the twilight of his life

When he closed his eyes tight and opened his wrists wide

What make a tenth round fighter with the winning score

Decide he need to throw the towel before the whistle blow

Maybe I’ll never know

But I inherited his poetic soul so the symbolism’s yet to show

Was life so obscene that death’s more serene?

Or was an old author tryin' to write his own closing scene?

Nothing stings like knowing that the woman that gave me this life

Is being eaten from the inside

I thought we never make shit right

I wish I’d have viewed it once clear before you were done here

That’s two in one year that I let leave here

Loving me without shedding one single tear

Either I’m one of the strongest people left

Or y’all should stone me for even tryin' to steal breath

And God’s rain water flow through the same gutter

That we, walk today, gotta stay brave brother

Keep your lips stiff, keep your fist clenched

At times you gotta kick your way through this bitch

They say shit’s strapped but you all by yourself, ain’t ya?

Damn straight, I got a jail cell nature

Been boxed up but I never been settled in

Him got tough started developing leather skin

I learned to make that face that tells predators

It’s better to re-assess just who you 'bout to wrestle with

I’m on one like the first kick drum of the beat

Clear my lungs, spit blood on the street

They telling me we got nothin' to fear but fear itself

But I fear I have no human fear left

Some day I’m gonna wanna peel back these calluses

And really feel life again and that’s what my challenge is

I been kickin' and bitin' for so long and

When they throw me a rescue rope I’ll be too weary to hold on

And see the light, so I sing through the tears

In the key of life, the way a wounded eagle might

And God’s rain water flow through the same gutter

That we, walk today, gotta stay brave brother

Keep your lips stiff, keep your fist clenched

At times you gotta kick your way through this bitch

My joy left me y’all

She don’t show her face around these parts

Every time she come she get chased off

So she stay distant

If it wasn’t for me squintin' he wouldn’t know the sun was out

I hate every word that come outta his fuckin' mouth

Ladies treat him special, don’t know nothin' 'bout him

They saw what his wife see they wouldn’t fuss 'bout him

He can’t do shit right but rap and make babies

And babies need daddy at home consistent

But rap keep daddy on the road religious

So even in my two loves my soul’s so conflicted

My son came into this world innocent

He deserves everything that he needs to live in it

And this home I made for him is broken

I’m hopin' his love for me will never grow thin

It hurts daddy to no end to know when

You’re cryin' at the hospital I’m out tryin' to rock a show

I made a vow that we’d never be broke again

And I’d never be a burden on another friend

So when I’m sweatin' on my farewell stage

And wrote my last hook in my last rhyme book

When I get my last line of approval from my family

This is the man that I have to be

And God’s rain water flow through the same gutter

That we walk today, gotta stay brave brother

Keep your lips stiff, keep your fist clenched

At times you gotta kick your way through this bitch

Sometimes

I feel

Like I’m Al-most gone